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America's Finest News Source.

Study Finds Dolphins May Suffer From Alzheimer’s Disease

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A study has found that the brains of some stranded dolphins showed classic markers of human Alzheimer’s disease, supporting the theory that “mass strandings” occur when one animal becomes confused and leads their pod into dangerously shallow waters. What do you think?

“You always worry when a dolphin forgets where they put their red ball.”

Sloane Castro • Grief Consultant

“That explains why that dolphin at the zoo never recognizes me.”

Burt Kraynak • Placebo Salesman

“Take away their driver’s licenses—protests be damned!”

Nick Jaeger • Relationship Auditor