SYRACUSE, NY—Saying Americans squandered the valuable resource on a massive scale, a study released Monday by Syracuse University found that flushing toilets wasted billions of gallons of piss and shit annually. “When looking at aggregate flushing data from both households and businesses, it’s clear that the amount of piss and shit lost every year is astronomical and deeply concerning,” said lead author Barbara Wehl, adding that instead of being put to good use, hundreds of millions of tons of human excrement are ending up in water treatment facilities and landfills across the country. “Once the handle is depressed, all of that fecal matter and urine is sent right down the drain to the sewers where it becomes completely worthless. And we’re talking about brand-new, perfectly good shit. When scaled up, you can see how that starts to become a huge problem.” The researchers went on to say that the negative impact of flushing extended far beyond piss and shit, with hundreds of thousands of gallons of vomit wasted every year.

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