CAMBRIDGE, MA—Representing a breakthrough in dental health, a study published Wednesday by Harvard University found that a majority of cavities were formed when people repeatedly ran their tongue over a tooth that felt weird. “In our research, the leading cause of tooth decay was a subject rubbing their tongue along a molar that felt slightly odd over and over again until the enamel had been completely worn down,” said the study’s lead author, Jeremy O’Markey, telling reporters that acids on the human tongue, combined with its rough surface, were extremely harmful for teeth and could cause them to begin to break down after only six or seven exploratory prods. “About the only thing worse for dental hygiene is giving the afflicted tooth a little jab with your finger or a floss pick, which is basically guaranteed to make it collapse on impact.” O’Markey added that his team’s research had also confirmed that dreams about teeth falling out signified that you were pulling your teeth out while you slept.