WASHINGTON—Warning that many Americans would be caught completely off guard, researchers at the University of Iowa released an alarming study Friday revealing that the majority of U.S. citizens are not prepared for when the sun engulfs the Earth in 7.5 billion years. “We polled thousands of people across all demographics and found that the average citizen hasn’t even considered what steps they need to take to prepare for the day when, 7.5 billion years from now, our Earth is wholly consumed by the sun,” said lead researcher Dr. Arnold Hatley, adding that 82% of respondents lack savings to purchase items they would need in an emergency like escape pods or sunscreen. “Maybe the sun won’t explode for another 10 billion years, or maybe it’ll blow up in 2 billion years, we really don’t know. But what we do know is that if Earth were scorched down to its rocky core today, literally every single person in the country would die. That’s why we recommend creating a plan with your family on where to meet and stay safe when civilization is wiped from the universe in a flash of fiery horror.” The study also found that only one in four Americans is prepared for the day the moon floats away, causing the tides to cease.
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