Study: Monkeys’ Roars Mean Lower Fertility

Though howler monkeys are one of the loudest primates on earth, with throat sacs that help them emit deep, booming roars to attract females, scientists have noted that the most sonorous calls actually come from the males with the smallest testes, which consequently produce less sperm for their potential mates. What do you think?

“I’m going to take this as tacit approval of my sports car purchase.”

Duncan Dellefield • Consumer Watchdog


“We’re fortunate as humans to have so many more superficial factors by which to judge our potential mates.”

Lacey Strong • Interpreter

“Oh good. Now I can stop trying to guess which howler monkeys at the zoo have the lowest sperm count.”

Frank Torrell • Heirloom Arranger

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