Illustration for article titled Successful U.S. Airstrike Kills 30 Iraqis Who May As Well Have Been Terroristsem/em

WASHINGTON—Saying that the mission had met all its objectives, the U.S. military announced Tuesday that it had launched a successful airstrike that had killed 30 Iraqis who may as well have been terrorists. “I am pleased to confirm that at 1400 hours yesterday afternoon, U.S. forces carried out an air raid on a site 20 miles from Mosul that, for all intents and purposes, serves as a terrorist training ground,” said Central Command spokesperson Major Josh Jacques, adding that, who knows, the Iraqis targeted could very well have been high-ranking members of ISIS. “Fortunately, we were able to hit the location with pinpoint accuracy, ensuring that those inside—who for all we know were some of the most dangerous jihadists on the planet—would no longer be able to carry out a series of devastating attacks. In fact, I wouldn’t be at all surprised if our nation is far, far safer than it was 24 hours ago.” Jacques went on to say that the military would continue utilizing this strategy, as there was no way to totally disprove the Islamic State wasn’t being brought to its knees.


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