PARSIPPANY, NJ—Calling it an idyllic setting for penning one’s final goodbyes, Super 8 Motels announced a new writing residency Friday for anyone working on a suicide note. “Writers accepted to this program will be awarded free lodging in one of our motel rooms, off any highway exit they choose, where they can draw upon the environment for inspiration in crafting a letter expressing how they just need to end it all,” said Wyndham Worldwide CEO Stephen Holmes, adding that a small per diem for food would also be provided so residents who have already given away their life’s savings can purchase their remaining meals at the Wendy’s across the parking lot. “We ask all applicants to provide a brief statement explaining why they want to kill themselves, how much better off the world will be without them, and how they imagine benefiting from the Super 8 spaces that have inspired so many writers before them to take their own life. While the length of the program is open-ended, our writers typically choose to conclude their residency after a few days or even hours.” Holmes went on to say that Super 8 guests who aren’t part of the residency program often feel inspired to start writing anyway.

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