INGLEWOOD, CA—Upon securing a decisive victory over the Cincinnati Bengals in Super Bowl LVI, the triumphant Rams told reporters Sunday that they wanted to dedicate their win to whatever city it was that they played for. “We might have been the ones out on the field today, but ultimately this win goes out to the people in whichever place it is that we happen to be from,” Rams quarterback Matthew Stafford said amidst a raucous celebration as teammates sprayed champagne and scrutinized their jerseys for hints of their hometown. “We’re the Rams, so I’m gonna say our fans live…somewhere in the northwest? Maybe not. Either way, I’m sure they contributed a lot. Really, this is the best city or possibly metropolitan area or maybe even town in the country, baby, and whoever the hell you people are, this one goes out to you!” At press time, a jubilant Stafford had reportedly rushed back to the locker room while leading his teammates in a rousing chant of “Wherever we’re from! Wherever we’re from!”
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