WASHINGTON—Dimming the lights and lighting candles before oral arguments started, the U.S. Supreme Court reportedly agreed Monday to hear the Case of the Haunted Harbor. “What happened down at the docks that grim October night has important implications for how this nation addresses mysterious happenings and events that defy ordinary explanation,” the court stated in a writ of certiorari ordering the First Circuit Court of Appeals to turn over all of the materials it had relating to the unexplained sightings of spectral presences down at the quay on a still, moonlit night. “This is a chilling tale of eerie precedent and peculiar legal maneuvering. What happened there in that desolate harbor? We know what the Federalist Papers have to say about a ship long believed sunk appearing in the distance with its lights on and sounds coming from it, yet when it is boarded the next morning the vessel looks like no one has set foot on it for decades. Still, ambiguities remain about the legal framework for addressing a shadow of a ghostly presence seen in a mirror that put an old fisherman into cardiac arrest from the shock. The outcome of the Haunted Harbor case not only has the potential to affect millions of Americans, both living and dead, but it could potentially call into question the previous ruling over the Case of the Missing Lighthouse.” At press time, Justices Neil Gorsuch and Elena Kagan had both recused themselves from hearing the Case of the Haunted Harbor because it sounded way too spooky.
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