STOCKHOLM—Touting the plan as “extremely cost-effective and easily sustainable through the foreseeable future,” Swedish prime minister Stefan Löfven announced a new initiative Wednesday to source 100% of the country’s energy from an unguarded wall outlet in Finland by the year 2030. “We’ve already been working tirelessly to conjoin sufficient extension cords to extend our power grid to Helsinki, and once that initial expense has been amortized, our energy costs will basically diminish to zero,” said Löfven, citing a 20-year study performed by the Ministry of the Environment and Energy to find the perfect nation to provide Sweden’s electricity, and downplaying a previous attempt to use an Estonian power strip in the early 1990s. “After surveying all available options for reaching our energy goals, taking it from the Finns was the one that checked every box. We wouldn’t be surprised to see our neighbors follow our lead, actually, because they really let their guard down there.” Finnish officials are currently debating the possible placement of a baby-proof socket protector over the outlet.
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