FRAMINGHAM, MA—In a move meant to streamline the company’s hiring process, representatives from T.J. Maxx confirmed Monday that the retailer’s job application now simply asks prospective employees how much merchandise they plan to shoplift. “While reviewing our employment procedures, we realized the only things we want to see on paper are the candidate’s name, phone number, and a realistic estimate of how much apparel he or she expects to steal during his or her time as an employee,” said human resources manager Madeline Irvington, noting that the removal of extraneous information from the form, such as an applicant’s education and past experience, saves T.J. Maxx store managers considerable time in making hiring decisions. “For inventory purposes, we just want our job candidates to come right out and tell us from the very beginning exactly how many designer tops, handbags, and pairs of jeans they intend to remove the security tags from after the store has closed and then surreptitiously ferry out when they leave. That way, we can be sure to order the correct amount of merchandise to satisfy them, any friends they plan to shoplift for, and our customers.” Irvington added that all job candidates who made it past the first round would then be asked how long they planned to lay low with the items before reselling them online.

Advertisement