
CHICAGO—Lauding the 22-year-old for her commitment to serving her community, sources confirmed Friday that local Taco Bell employee Nicole Cortez has had a far greater positive impact on people’s lives than any firefighter ever could. “Sure, there are plenty of firefighters who have rushed into a burning building to save a child, but that service pales in comparison to that of the woman whose Baja Blasts and Crunchwrap Supremes has brought smiles to thousands,” said Gail J. McGovern, president of the American Red Cross, who issued a statement announcing that Cortez would be honored in a ceremony at the organization’s headquarters in Washington D.C. in recognition of her outstanding tenacity, strength, and courage, all of which outshone the average employee of a local fire department. “Over the span of her 3-year career, Nicole has never failed to stuff generous handfuls of hot sauce packets into the bottom of a customer’s bag. That’s far more consequential than a firefighter preventing a home from going up in flames. She works night and day, ready to answer the call in the event a car enters the 24-hour drive-through window. It’s often a thankless job, but she’s a true hero.” At press time, community members were grieving after reports Cortez had perished due to smoke inhalation from a burning burrito.