IRVINE, CA—Calling its latest offering the ultimate innovation in Mexican-inspired fast food, restaurant chain Taco Bell announced Thursday that it had added a cheesy beef dunk tank to its menu. “At select locations throughout the country, customers can now get their Taco Bell fix through total immersion in a 600-gallon dunk tank filled with mouthwatering molten cheese and spicy meat,” said vice president of marketing Morgan Niedermeyer, who demonstrated how one could enjoy the new menu item by sitting on a collapsible bench, egging on fellow diners to throw a wad of refried beans at a target, and plummeting into a delicious blend of nacho sauce, reduced-fat sour cream, and seasoned ground beef. “Patrons can expect to be slathered in all the great Taco Bell ingredients they crave, customizing their dunk tank with up to 3 feet of lettuce and onions, or turning up the heat with a full cubic yard of our signature hot sauce—all for only $3.99. Visit your nearest participating location today to take the plunge.” Niedermeyer went on to confirm that vegetarian diners could choose to leave out the beef and substitute 4,500 side orders of black beans to make it vegetarian.
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