The Inventory

America's Finest News Source.

Krill-Eating Whale Too Fucking Cowardly To Prey On Something Its Own Size

Cat Dead Set On Finding Way Into Mirror

Wednesday 7:30AM

Santa Anita Park Officials Announce They Will Stop Allowing Bets On All Upcoming Horse Deaths

NASA Discovers Impact Crater Of Meteorite That First Brought Horses To Earth

6/10/19 11:15AM

Heartbreaking Photos Of Polar Bears Who Will Die Before The Next ‘Metroid Prime’ If Nintendo Doesn’t Get Their Shit Together

6/07/19 10:29AM

Maze With Cheese In Center Enters Human Trials Following Decades Of Testing On Mice

Special Guest At Sea Lion Show Just Another Sea Lion

Panicked Oyster Praying That Lump It Feels Forming Only A Pearl

5/29/19 10:54AM

Depressed Monkey Throwing Shit At Himself

Sexually Awakened PETA President Announces That Being Kept In A Tiny Cage All Day Actually Sounds Hot As Hell

Tyson Holds Contest To Let Fans Submit New Ideas For Torturing Chicken To Death

5/23/19 12:49PM

World Rejoices As Grumpy Cat And Her Shitty Attitude Dead Forever

Company Commits To Hiring More Bengal Tigers In Effort To Improve Office Biodiversity

5/08/19 11:47AM

Sickly, Starving Rhino Not As Fun To Hunt

5/07/19 12:09PM

Stanford Students Admit It Was Pretty Obvious Billionaire’s Dog Didn’t Get In By Itself

Zoologists Thrilled After Successfully Getting Pair Of Bengal Tigers To 69 In Captivity

5/03/19 10:46AM

Trump Dismisses Concerns Over White House Chaos After Pack Of Feral Dogs Takes Over 4th West Wing Room

5/02/19 10:39AM

Bee Practically Blows Its Load After Seeing Purple Coneflower In Full Bloom

4/26/19 10:28AM

Field Museum Officials Announce Long-Awaited Pregnancy Of Prized T-Rex

Woman Jealous Of Horse’s Eyelashes

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