RESTON, VA—Abandoning the idealism of previous pushes for more conservation, a realistic new campaign released…

ANN ARBOR, MI—In a report issued Thursday from a stretch of U.S. 23 South, Wilson Ornithological Society researchers…

WASHINGTON—Calling the program “an ingenious idea with near-unlimited potential,” experts at the World Resources…

PHOENIX, AZ—Expressing frustration with how badly his undercoat and tail got messed up the last time, local…

LINCOLN, NE—Absolving himself from any further obligation to the insect, local man Samuel Platte confirmed Tuesday…

ZIMBABWE—Disappointed that its generous portion of booty had apparently gone unnoticed by the hunters encroaching…

LANSING, MI—Already looking forward to the secret snack, a local robin regurgitating food for its chicks Monday…

ATLANTA—Insisting no job was too big for their fleet of professional exterminators, pest-control company Orkin…

GRAN CHACO, BOLIVIA—Despite expressing reservations about being a caricature of his entire species, local giant…

WESTMINSTER, CO—Attempting to renege on his original promise by invoking a bullshit technicality, some asshole was…

OVERLAND PARK, KS— Observing yet disregarding the bodies of 15 of his fellow flies suspended in the tempting but…

SPRINGFIELD, MO—Unable to control his intense craving for a soiled garment fresh from the laundry bin, local dog and…

BENTON HARBOR, MI—Advertised as an essential home appliance for any seafood lover, KitchenAid unveiled Monday the…

BRUNSWICK, ME—Dispelling commonly held beliefs surrounding their unusual sleep habits, ornithologists at Bowdoin…

OLATHE, KS—Expressing frustration over the way the canine was recklessly endangering the health of everyone around…

SOUTH HADLEY, MA—Recalling the joyful experience from its youth, a local fly reportedly reminisced Tuesday about the…