Supporters Aggravated Bernie Sanders Didn’t Use DNC Speech To Get Voters To Act Against Their Own Self-Interest
PHILADELPHIA—In response to the Vermont senator calling upon all Democrats to come together to assure the party’s…
Voice Coming From DNC Sound System During Sanders Address Clearly Hillary Clinton’s
PHILADELPHIA—As Vermont senator Bernie Sanders spoke to the crowd about the need for party unity Monday during the…
Who’s Speaking At The DNC: Day 1
Here is a guide to the major speakers who will be addressing attendees on the first night of the 2016 Democratic…
Nation Surprised It Took So Long For Primaries To Weed Out Candidate With Genuine Principles
PORTSMOUTH, NH—With Bernie Sanders effectively conceding the race for the Democratic presidential nomination just two…
Bernie Sanders Agrees To Drop Out Of Race In Exchange For 13-Hour Speaking Slot At Convention
PORTSMOUTH, NH—Following a closely contested primary election cycle that left him several hundred delegates shy of…
‘Secretary Clinton Is A Different Person Than Donald Trump,’ Says Bernie Sanders In Ringing Endorsement
PORTSMOUTH, NH—Putting aside the policy disagreements and occasional acrimony that marked the pair’s heated,…
‘I’d Like You To Post Long, Aggressive Rants On Social Media,’ Says Bernie Sanders In Supporter’s Interpretation Of Speech
WASHINGTON—Addressing reporters after meeting with President Obama at the White House this morning, Bernie Sanders…
Voters Glad They Got Hope In Politicians Out Of System For Next Election Cycle Or Two
WASHINGTON—Admitting it was actually kind of a relief to have it over with, the nation’s voters reported Thursday that…
The Arguments For And Against Bernie Sanders Staying In The Race
Bernie Sanders is ramping up his efforts in the presidential race despite long odds, while sharpening his criticisms of…
Hillary Clinton Sets Personal Single Rep Squat Record While Watching Bernie Sanders On Gym TV
BROOKLYN, NY—Shaking violently as she fought to slowly lift the 225-pound load, Democratic presidential candidate…
Bernie Sanders Asks Anyone Who’s Serious About Breaking Up Big Banks To Meet Him On Corner Of Canal And Bowery At Midnight
NEW YORK—Inviting all those truly committed to economic equality, presidential candidate Bernie Sanders announced…
Sanders Impresses Florida Voters By Jumping From Hotel Balcony Into Pool
MIAMI—Whirling an empty Corona bottle above his head as he drew onlookers’ attention with a loud, sustained howl,…
Bloated, Rotund Bernie Sanders Reveals He Has Finished Drinking All Of Flint’s Water Supply
FLINT, MI—Emitting a long groan as he steadied himself at his podium, an extremely bloated, rotund Bernie Sanders…
Sanders Campaign Headquarters Smashed Up By Gang Of Pinkerton Union Busters
BURLINGTON, VT―Wielding billy clubs as they kicked down the door and began smashing everything in sight, a team of…
PBS Moderators Spend First 10 Minutes Of Debate Asking Candidates For Fundraising Advice
MILWAUKEE—After introducing the two candidates onto the stage at the University of Wisconsin–Milwaukee, the moderators…
Monocle-Wearing Oil Baron’s Cigarette Holder Splinters In Clenched Teeth After Hearing Bernie Sanders’ Environmental Platform
GREENWICH, CT—Leaving him visibly seething as he sat in his tufted leather wingback chair in his study, monocle-wearing…