Senator Feinstein Wondering If Now A Good Time To Disclose 7 Highly Credible Murder Allegations Against Kavanaugh She Received Weeks Ago
WASHINGTON—Weighing the importance of the information against the potential political fallout, Senator Dianne Feinstein…
Kavanaugh Blasted For Destroying Reputation Of Good Man
WASHINGTON—Decrying the tactics as a smear campaign against an exemplary judge, Republicans blasted Brett Kavanaugh…
Dick Durbin Wakes Up Chained To Radiator With Instructions To Saw Open Own Stomach To Access Kavanaugh Report
WASHINGTON—Stirring from his chloroform-induced stupor to discover a handwritten note shoved inside his pocket, Senator…
Clinton Laughs Off Idea She Politically Savvy Enough To Launch Revenge Campaign On Kavanaugh
CHAPPAQUA, NY—Brushing aside insinuations that she had anything to do with the rancorous confirmation process, former…
Kavanaugh Starting To Get Worried About Not Hearing Back After Job Interview
WASHINGTON—Frantically pacing around his home, pausing only to refresh his email inbox and check his phone’s call log,…
Chuck Grassley Scratches ‘Christine Blasey’s A Slut’ Into Senate Bathroom Stall
WASHINGTON—In an effort to undermine the credibility of the woman who testified that Supreme Court nominee Brett…
Nation Urged To Be Extra Sensitive To Men Reliving Trauma Of Not Getting Something
WASHINGTON—Admonishing everyone who knows, works with, or is related to a man to consider the feelings of men for whom…
Newly Sober Kavanaugh Introduces Sponsor Who Says He Needs Supreme Court Seat As Part Of Recovery
WASHINGTON—Explaining that the lifetime appointment would provide vital structure and purpose, newly sober Brett…
Lisa Murkowski Admits She Thought Being Alaskan Senator Would Just Mean Having To Deal With Bears And Shit
WASHINGTON—Somewhat taken aback by her pivotal role in Brett Kavanaugh’s potential confirmation to the Supreme Court,…
Mark Judge Can’t Believe That Fucking Lightweight Kavanaugh Got ‘Boofing’ And ‘The Devil’s Triangle’ Wrong
BETHANY BEACH, DE—Shaking his head in frustration as he read about the testimony given by his old high school friend to…
Kavanaugh Impressed By Hazing Rituals Before They Let You Join Supreme Court
WASHINGTON—Admitting he was surprised by all the tasks required of him in order to enter the prestigious organization,…
Kavanaugh Claims He Never Committed Sexual Assault As It Will Be Defined After Future Supreme Court Case
WASHINGTON—Speaking before the Senate Judiciary Committee, Brett Kavanaugh defended himself against accusations of…
GOP Attacks Christine Blasey Ford For Never Coming Forward To Testify
WASHINGTON—Claiming that her refusal to appear before them and testify called into question all of her accusations, GOP…