Nov 20The Topical11/20/20The Topical11/20/20Hormel CEO Dares Anyone To Try And Come For His Chili EmpireHear why if you come for the crown of Hormel CEO Jim Snee, King of Chili, you best not miss.
Oct 20News In Photos10/20/20News In Photos10/20/20Netflix Announces List Of Hulu Executives Disappearing At End Of October
Oct 16The Topical10/16/20The Topical10/16/20L’Oréal Introduces New Smudge-Proof Lipstick Able To Withstand Getting Hit By BusL’Oréal’s new FaceSmash collection guarantees not to blotch or smear even after you’ve been pancaked by a 20-ton bus…
Oct 12News In Photos10/12/20News In Photos10/12/20Fired Private Equity Partner Steals Office Supply Company On Way Out
Oct 8News In Photos10/8/20News In Photos10/8/20Kay Introduces New Bracelet That Comes In Ring Box For Disappointing Girlfriend
Oct 5News in Brief10/5/20News in Brief10/5/20Nike CEO Steps Down In Disgrace After Footage Emerges Of A Guy Running Really Slow While Wearing Their SneakersBEAVERTON, OR—Taking full responsibility for the devastating failure, Nike CEO John Donahoe resigned under a cloud…
Oct 1News in Brief10/1/20News in Brief10/1/20Lowe’s Unveils New Hide-A-House Disguised As Giant Plastic BoulderMOORESVILLE, NC—Hailing the new product as a simple but effective home security solution, the hardware chain Lowe’s…
Sep 24News in Brief9/24/20News in Brief9/24/20Literary Journal Founded By Couple Of College Acquaintances To Cease PublicationNEW YORK—Citing high operating costs and a continued industry trend away from physical media, the founders and…
Sep 15News In Photos9/15/20News In Photos9/15/20Coquettish Article Allowing One Tempting Glimpse Before Covering Itself With Paywall
Sep 11News In Photos9/11/20News In Photos9/11/20Busch Gardens Introduces New Safety Equipment To Help Guests Keep Vomit Confined To Own Person
Sep 2News in Brief9/2/20News in Brief9/2/20Tyler Perry Expands Empire Into Central Banking System With Launch Of Tyler Perry’s Federal ReserveATLANTA—Stressing that he hoped to pave a way for future Black filmmakers-turned-financial-regulators, Tyler Perry…
Aug 21News In Photos8/21/20News In Photos8/21/20Depressed Uber CEO Threatens To Leave Car Running In Garage With Driver Inside
Aug 19News in Brief8/19/20News in Brief8/19/20‘Why Not?’ Asks New Glossier Ad Introducing Blush For Butt CheeksNEW YORK—In what industry observers are hailing as the most innovative product launch to date, popular skin care and…
Aug 13News in Brief8/13/20News in Brief8/13/20Apple Planning ‘Apple One’ Subscription Bundle Featuring Music, TV, Tim Cook’s Hearty StewCUPERTINO, CA—In an effort to build greater customer loyalty, tech giant Apple announced Thursday the rollout of a…
Aug 13News In Photos8/13/20News In Photos8/13/20Sterilite Unveils New 200-Bushel Laundry Basket For People Who Prefer To Put Off Washing Their Clothes Indefinitely
Aug 12News in Brief8/12/20News in Brief8/12/20Weirdly Pro-Life French’s Ad Says Embryo Can Taste America’s Favorite Mustard As Early As 6 WeeksSPRINGFIELD, MO—Prominently displaying various warnings, including that “the cravings begin at 18 days,” French’s…
Jul 29The Topical7/29/20The Topical7/29/20Fisher-Price Announces Company Has Grown Out Of Making Stupid Toys For BabiesThey want to make cool toys for big kids, like video games and airsoft guns. But is the company best known for…