Dec 25News In Photos12/25/20News In Photos12/25/20Child’s Delighted Face On Christmas Morning Not Even Close To Worth $200
Dec 17News in Brief12/17/20News in Brief12/17/20Remote-Learning Student Praying It Snows Enough To Bring Down Internet Lines To Cancel SchoolWICHITA, KS—Holding out hope that a severe blizzard would come through her town and wipe out all local online…
Oct 29News in Brief10/29/20News in Brief10/29/209-Year-Old Sad That Father’s iPad Moving OutLA JOLLA, CA—His eyes flooding with tears as the full weight of the news sank in, local 9-year-old Taylor Warner…
Oct 27News in Brief10/27/20News in Brief10/27/20New Parents Freaked Out Upon Learning That Babies Can Live Up To 100 YearsNEWBURYPORT, MA—Panicking after encountering the information while reading through an article online, new parents…
Sep 4News In Photos9/4/20News In Photos9/4/20Childless Couple Lays Down Gauntlet Of Lit Candles, Delicate Glassware, Unanchored Furniture To Test Mettle Of Visiting Nephew
Aug 31News in Brief8/31/20News in Brief8/31/20Pretentious Third-Grader Only Reading Children’s Books That Won Newbery MedalWENHAM, MA—Friends of local third-grader Emily DeCateur expressed their bemusement Monday at the 8-year-old’s…
Apr 15News in Brief4/15/20News in Brief4/15/20Fears Over Food Supply Grows After Nation’s Naughty Little Boys Sneak Into Reserve Stockpiles And Eat All The SweetsWASHINGTON—Contributing to the sense of alarm spreading across the country, concerns over the food supply escalated…
Mar 25News3/25/20News3/25/20OGN Investigates: We Exposed An Orphan To Nothing But Violent Games For The First 12 Years Of His Life And While It Didn’t Make Him Violent He Sure Came Out WeirdWhether it’s fighting the belief that all gamers are antisocial weirdos or advocating for more inclusiveness in the…
Mar 23News in Brief3/23/20News in Brief3/23/20Disturbing New Study Finds American 5th-Graders Only Absorbing Targeted Advertisements At 1st-Grade LevelSTANFORD, CA—Calling the elementary schoolers “eons” behind their counterparts in terms of brand recognition, a…
Mar 6News in Brief3/6/20News in Brief3/6/20Man Who’s Really Excited To One Day Have Children Must Be PedophileROCHESTER, NY—Insisting there could simply be no other plausible explanation for his strange desire, sources…
Feb 28 2020News in Brief2/28/20News in Brief2/28/20Child Doing Stations Of The Cross Reflects On Boredom Christ Must Have Felt During CrucifixionGREENVILLE, OH—Reaching a more profound understanding of what martyrdom really meant, local 12-year-old Charlie Ward…
Feb 26 2020News in Brief2/26/20News in Brief2/26/20‘I’m Free, I’m Finally Free!’ Thinks Parent Before Realizing Lost Child Just Hiding Inside Clothes RackKENOSHA, WI—Exulting with joy as she kicked over an empty stroller, mother Michelle Groves, 34, was observed saying…
Feb 17 2020News in Brief2/17/20News in Brief2/17/20Parenting Experts Reveal Forcing Child To Shoot Dying Pet Only Teaches Lesson About Mortality For First 5 Or So TimesNASHVILLE, TN—Shedding new light on what has long been an article of faith in many American households, early…
Feb 10 2020News in Brief2/10/20News in Brief2/10/20Study Finds Leading Cause Of Childhood Obesity Witches Fattening Up Children To Be EatenATLANTA—Urging parents to learn about the dangers lurking in the enchanted forest, a new study from the Centers for…
Feb 5 2020News in Brief2/5/20News in Brief2/5/20Pedestrians Passing Each Other On Sidewalk Stop To Let Children Sniff Each OtherGREENVILLE, SC—Slowing their pace to accommodate their curious companions as they approached from opposite…
Jan 27 2020News in Brief1/27/20News in Brief1/27/20Parents Impressed By How Big Baby Has Gotten After Just 16 Months Of CrossFitCHESTNUT HILL, MA—Marveling at the clear results they’ve seen since his September 2018 birth, parents Stephen…
Jan 24 2020News in Brief1/24/20News in Brief1/24/20Trump Makes Powerful Pro-Life Case By Speaking About The Joys Of Neglecting A ChildWASHINGTON—Speaking to thousands of March For Life protesters assembled on the National Mall, President Donald Trump…
Jan 7 2020News in Brief1/7/20News in Brief1/7/20Hasbro Launches Line Of Trap-Building Kits To Encourage Girls To Get Into Post-Apocalyptic SurvivalismPAWTUCKET, RI—Seeking to challenge the perception that preparing devices to fend off roving marauders is exclusively…