Jul 7News in Brief7/7/20News in Brief7/7/20Freshman Who Would Have Fallen Through Dorm Window First Weekend Sad To Miss Out On College Experience
Feb 14News in Brief2/14/20News in Brief2/14/20Report Finds Average U.S. College Student Over $28,000 In Debt To Yakuza
Jan 13News In Photos1/13/20News In Photos1/13/20Landlord Figures He Can Pass Off Uninhabitable Shithole As ‘Great For Students’
Nov 12News in Brief11/12/19News in Brief11/12/19College Freshman Annoyed About Having To Room With 47-Year-Old Adjunct Professor
Oct 24VideoOnion Info Clips10/24/19 VideoOnion Info Clips10/24/19Tips For Applying To Graduate School
Oct 3Sports News In Brief10/3/19Sports News In Brief10/3/19New NCAA Rule Forces Athletes To Remove All Facial Features To Prevent Them From Profiting Off Likeness
Sep 12News in Brief9/12/19News in Brief9/12/19Matthew McConaughey Forced To Apply For Food Stamps After First Month As Adjunct Professor
May 20 2019News In Photos5/20/19News In Photos5/20/19Chase CEO Giving Commencement Speech Pledges To Double Whole Class’s Student Loan Debt
May 20 2019News in Brief5/20/19News in Brief5/20/19Nation’s Math Professors Announce Plans To Continue Wearing Chinos With Running Shoes Indefinitely
May 3 2019News in Brief5/3/19News in Brief5/3/19Stanford Students Admit It Was Pretty Obvious Billionaire’s Dog Didn’t Get In By Itself
Apr 12 2019Sports News In Brief4/12/19Sports News In Brief4/12/19Duke Anthropology Professor Devastated To Learn Promising Student Dropping Out
Mar 18 2019Sports News In Brief3/18/19Sports News In Brief3/18/19NCAA Launches Investigation Into Why It Wasn’t Making Millions Off Recent College Admissions Scandal
Mar 18 2019News in Brief3/18/19News in Brief3/18/19Thousands Of Students Forced To Attend Iowa State After University Sets Acceptance Rate To 140%
Mar 13 2019News in Brief3/13/19News in Brief3/13/19Report: Just Go Ahead And Tell Yourself Bribery Is The Only Reason You Didn’t Get Into Columbia
Mar 12 2019News in Brief3/12/19News in Brief3/12/19USC Insists Lori Loughlin’s Daughter Was Admitted Solely Based On Socioeconomic Background
Jan 22 2019News in Brief1/22/19News in Brief1/22/19Man Regrets Wasting Money On College After Failing To Secure Perfect Dream Life By 24
Oct 16 2018News in Brief10/16/18News in Brief10/16/18University Suspends All Lightweights From Campus Following Fraternity Hazing Death
Sep 21 2018News in Brief9/21/18News in Brief9/21/18Applicant Who Actually Faced Punishment For Sexual Assault Clearly Not Yale Material
