Another crushing defeat at the hands of the enemy. After four long years, our righteous struggle has come to a bitter…
BUFFALO, NY—It's 1:30 a.m. Chris Rierden breathes a beleaguered sigh as he counts a large wad of singles next to the…
KNOXVILLE, TN—CBS college basketball commentators Billy Packer and Vern Lundquist took time during Sunday's…
SIOUX CITY, IA—Patrons of the Clover Leaf Tavern expressed dismay Saturday after a fight between Jeffrey Kline, 32, and…
AUSTIN, TX—Lance Armstrong, the ultra-competitive seven-time Tour de France champion who recently ran the New York…
LEXINGTON, KY—Ever since a humiliatingly short mechanical-bull ride at the Cadillac Ranch last Thursday, area resident…
LOS ANGELES—Already home to Extreme Makeover, Trista & Ryan's Wedding, and According To Jim, the ABC television network…
AUSTIN, TX—According to acquaintances of the 22-year-old hippie, Chad Beresford is a frequent participant in hacky…
CONEY ISLAND, NY—Pope John Paul II won Monday's 14th Annual Coney Island Host-Eating Contest, as the Vicar of Christ…
WINNEPESAUKEE, NY–A plucky band of colorful misfits from Camp Winnepesaukee proved no match for their spoiled rich-kid…
WASHINGTON, DC– According to a Labor Department report released Monday, foreign sweatshops are seriously diminishing…
NEWPORT, RI–Some rich guy came in first Monday in that big, famous yacht race held every year at the Newport Yacht…
VICTORIA, HONG KONG–The Red Dragon Legion, a union representing Hong Kong's 22 largest evil kung-fu goon squads,…
WASHINGTON, DC—With first-quarter Club Rotation Index figures the lowest in seven years, and imports outselling…
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