The Inventory

America's Finest News Source.

Sun Still Shining And People Laughing As Though Rip Torn Isn’t Dead

BREAKING: Oh My God, You Killed Her

Report: Only 260,000 More Games Of ‘Candy Crush’ Until You Die

Report: Trying To Hug Oncoming Train Still Leading Cause Of Death For Nation’s Idiots

Report: U.S. Death Rates From Drugs, Suicide, And Alcohol Have Greatly Increased, But Not In A Cool Rock And Roll Way

Serial Killer Clearly Gunning For ‘Parking Lot Butcher’ Nickname

Santa Anita Park Officials Announce They Will Stop Allowing Bets On All Upcoming Horse Deaths

Missing Mount Everest Climbers Feared Buried Under Avalanche Of Dead Mount Everest Climbers

World Populace Actually Fine With Rich People Dying On Mount Everest

ICE Agent Can’t Believe He Being Reprimanded For Child Who Died All Those Months Ago

5/24/19 12:43PM

Nigel Farage Dies Of Milkshake Wounds

Friends Place Memorial On Section Of Six Flags Roller Coaster Track Where Guest Died

BREAKING: Situation Worsens In Venezuela, Bolivia, U.S., Japan, Mexico, Iraq, Spain

5/16/19 12:22PM

George Lucas Recalls Peter Mayhew Ad-Libbing Decision To Play Character As Nonverbal, Fur-Covered Monster

Random Uncle’s Wife Crying A Bunch Throughout Grandma’s Funeral

Child Promised He Can Go Right Back To Video Game After Giving Dying Grandfather One Last Hug

Bird Reflects On Frailty, Impermanence Of Life After Finding Dead Human On Sidewalk

4/11/19 11:50AM

Family Respects Grandmother’s Wishes To Have Open-Bloused Funeral

4/05/19 12:12PM

Purdue Pharma Reports Opioid Deaths Falling Short Of Quarterly Goals

Former Orca Trainer Granted Final Wish To Be Buried At SeaWorld

4/01/19 11:02AM

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