MCALESTER, OK—Saying he knew he would just get hungry again later, Oklahoma State Penitentiary death row inmate Harris Boland told reporters Friday he was saving some of his last meal for between execution attempts. “I’m going to eat the lobster tails first while they’re still nice and hot, but they’ll probably be…
HUNTSVILLE, TX—In response to a nationwide shortage of the chemicals conventionally used to carry out capital punishment, officials from the Texas Department of Criminal Justice announced Friday that the state would begin executing death row inmates with an experimental new three-drug Molotov cocktail. “Once the…
RIYADH, SAUDI ARABIA—Criticizing the amount of time and money wasted between a condemned individual’s sentencing and eventual execution, Saudi government officials expressed frustration Monday over the country’s costly three-hour appeals process for convicts facing the death penalty. “We can’t allow our courts to be…
AL MUZAHIMIYAH, SAUDI ARABIA—Complaining that he must have “tweaked it pretty good,” Saudi executioner Khalid al-Faraj told reporters Thursday that he thinks he pulled something in his shoulder during yesterday’s last 10 decapitations. “Around the seventh or eighth beheading I came around kind of awkwardly on my…
CHILLICOTHE, OH—Noting that the effects of the untested chemical combination remain unknown, Chillicothe Correctional Institution guard Matt Bozarth told reporters Monday he is giving an inmate on death row every chance to end his life before the facility tries out new execution drugs on him. “It’ll still be a few…
COLUMBUS, OH—Facing a critical shortage of key lethal injection drugs with over 100 inmates currently waiting on the state’s death row, desperate Ohio officials announced Tuesday that they were now exploring homeopathic execution methods. “Supply restrictions prevent us from obtaining the thiopental sodium or…
STARKE, FL—Shortly after the official scheduling of his execution date, convicted murderer Thomas McGuire admitted to reporters Wednesday that he is curious to see how the state is going to pull off his lethal injection. “I’ve been spending a lot of time praying and trying to find peace, but I have to admit, I also…
FLORENCE, AZ—Noting that the purity and reliability were significantly lower, sources at Arizona’s Florence State Prison confirmed that the lethal injection compounds given to convicted murderer Joseph Danvers III in the early morning hours Friday were by far the least effective drugs he took while incarcerated.…
HUNTSVILLE, TX—Noting that their prison system’s supply of lethal injection drugs continues to dwindle as more manufacturers agree to halt sales, sources within the Texas Department of Criminal Justice confirmed Thursday that they now regret wasting doses of pancuronium bromide on innocent prisoners in 1997, 2000, and…
MCALESTER, OK—Calling it an “unfortunate incident,” Oklahoma Department of Corrections officials confirmed that convicted murderer and death row inmate Harrison Garber, 57, died of natural causes three days into his lethal injection Tuesday. “Approximately 55 hours into the execution process, Mr. Garber began having…
NEW BRUNSWICK, NJ—Saying that the company could cash in big time on the opportunity, Johnson & Johnson CEO Alex Gorsky expressed his hope to reporters Friday that the pharmaceutical manufacturer’s family-friendly image would not be tarnished if it dipped into the lethal injection game. “Johnson & Johnson has been a…
MCALESTER, OK—Shortly before administering a lethal injection to a prisoner sentenced to death by the state, Oklahoma Department of Corrections executioner Michael Callahan reportedly entered the death chamber Friday at Oklahoma State Penitentiary carrying a large plastic bag full of purchases from a nearby Home…
Seeking a more humane method of carrying out capital punishment, Ohio’s new machine yanks inmates heads from their bodies using painless, powerful robotic claws.
The heated debate over capital punishment has been reignited after the botched execution of Clayton Lockett in Oklahoma, in which the inmate suffered what has been described as a tortured death at the hands of the state, having succumbed to a heart attack 43 minutes after an untested combination of drugs was injected…
Despite arguments against capital punishment, the Justices overwhelmingly approved its use, especially if they get to participate in some executions.
DALLAS—According to a study released Monday by the Texas Dental Association, four out of five dentists in the Lone Star State advocate the use of capital punishment. "About 80 percent of the dentists surveyed recommend brushing three times daily, regular dental check-ups, and death by lethal injection should a…
LOS ANGELES—Overwhelmed by an enormous, ever-growing criminal caseload, the Los Angeles district attorney's office announced Monday that William Craig—arrested last week in connection with a string of high-profile Bel Air stabbings—will be tried by the media.
