Death Row Inmate Saving Some Of Last Meal For Between Execution Attempts

MCALESTER, OK—Saying he knew he would just get hungry again later, Oklahoma State Penitentiary death row inmate Harris Boland told reporters Friday he was saving some of his last meal for between execution attempts. “I’m going to eat the lobster tails first while they’re still nice and hot, but they’ll probably be…

Saudi Executioner Thinks He Pulled Something In Shoulder During Last 10 Decapitations

AL MUZAHIMIYAH, SAUDI ARABIA—Complaining that he must have “tweaked it pretty good,” Saudi executioner Khalid al-Faraj told reporters Thursday that he thinks he pulled something in his shoulder during yesterday’s last 10 decapitations. “Around the seventh or eighth beheading I came around kind of awkwardly on my…

Guard Gives Death Row Inmate Every Chance To End Life Before They Try New Execution Drug On Him

CHILLICOTHE, OH—Noting that the effects of the untested chemical combination remain unknown, Chillicothe Correctional Institution guard Matt Bozarth told reporters Monday he is giving an inmate on death row every chance to end his life before the facility tries out new execution drugs on him. “It’ll still be a few…

Death Row Inmate Can’t Deny He Curious To See How State Pulls Off Lethal Injection

STARKE, FL—Shortly after the official scheduling of his execution date, convicted murderer Thomas McGuire admitted to reporters Wednesday that he is curious to see how the state is going to pull off his lethal injection. “I’ve been spending a lot of time praying and trying to find peace, but I have to admit, I also…

Texas Now Regretting Wasting Doses Of Pancuronium Bromide On Innocent Guys Back In 1997, 2000, 2004

HUNTSVILLE, TX—Noting that their prison system’s supply of lethal injection drugs continues to dwindle as more manufacturers agree to halt sales, sources within the Texas Department of Criminal Justice confirmed Thursday that they now regret wasting doses of pancuronium bromide on innocent prisoners in 1997, 2000, and…

Johnson & Johnson Hoping Brand Won’t Be Tarnished If They Dip Into Lethal Injection Game

NEW BRUNSWICK, NJ—Saying that the company could cash in big time on the opportunity, Johnson & Johnson CEO Alex Gorsky expressed his hope to reporters Friday that the pharmaceutical manufacturer’s family-friendly image would not be tarnished if it dipped into the lethal injection game. “Johnson & Johnson has been a…