Cryptic Long John Silver’s Campaign Just Says ‘You Are The Bait Now’
LOUISVILLE, KY—Baffling fast food consumers nationwide by implicating the diners themselves in some unknown but vaguely…
Smiley Face Doodled On Check Commemorates Undeniable Chemistry Between Waiter, Ericson Family
ROCKFORD, IL—Saying that the jovial drawing will forever signify their bond of goodwill, local father Gary Ericson…
Restaurant Entrance Doesn’t Work All Damn Day To Be Called ‘Other Door’
CINCINNATI, OH—Frustrated by a perceived lack of respect and appreciation, the main entrance of Bubby’s Bar and Grill…
Server Unbelievably Touched To Be Asked Own Opinion On Whether Enchiladas Or Burger Better Choice
NOVI, MI—Vowing to give such an important request the respect it deserves, local Chili’s server Melissa Cortez told…
New Restaurant Specializes In Trendy Japanese-Japanese Fusion Cuisine
SAN FRANCISCO—Declaring that his vaunted culinary insights most often come from the simple practice of combining…
Papa John’s Founder Launches New Chain Of Fast-Casual Segregated Lunch Counters
LOUISVILLE, KY—In an effort to turn over a new leaf after being ousted from his own company last week, Papa John’s…
Man Silently Eating Personal Pan Pizza Alone In Corner Of Airport Unaware This Will Be Best Part Of 7-Day Vacation
INDIANAPOLIS—Quietly chewing on a piece of crust as he waited for his connecting flight to arrive, local man Brett…
Napkinless Man With Grease-Covered Fingers Realizes He Trapped In A Prison Of His Own Creation
FLORENCE, SC—Lamenting his lack of foresight and preparation in choosing to have a full order of barbecued chicken…
Conversation At Other End Of Table Sounds Way More Interesting
TUSTIN, CA—According to sources nodding along to a coworker’s story about vacation home rentals, the conversation…
Long John Silver’s Customer Finds Deep-Fried Poseidon Head In Value Meal
CINCINNATI—Causing a wave of disgust and outrage among his fellow diners, local man Tobin Sullivan said Friday that, to…
Johnny Rockets Customer Terrified After Evidently Falling Through Wormhole Into 1950s
SANTA MONICA, CA—Alarmed by the red vinyl seats, chrome accents, and no-frills dining options that suggested he’d been…
5-Year-Old Explorer Makes Contact With Life-Forms In Adjacent Booth
MERIDIAN, ID—Approaching the mysterious beings with a sense of curiosity and wonder, 5-year-old explorer Olivia…