LOS ANGELES—In an effort to provide residents with a way to more safely patronize restaurants without fear of…

DENVER—Expressing skepticism regarding Sarah Hastings’ holier-than-thou proclamations of support for animal rights…

NEW YORK—Commenting that there was “no way” the restaurant’s sanitation efforts were even close to acceptable,…

NEWPORT, OR—Bewildered at the inclusion of the tropical fruit among the required ingredients, local man Andrew…

COLUMBUS, OH—Calling bankruptcy an “unfortunate reality” for many current small business owners, a new study…

JOPLIN, MO—Overcome with a sense of spiritual profundity in response to the astonishing announcement, local man…

ORLANDO, FL—Touting the offer as an ethical, mouth-watering option for those suffering from incurable diseases,…

OMAHA, NE—Emphasizing that it was no problem at all and that he’d be happy to grab a to-go container, a couple at…

ORLANDO, FL—Expressing concern that previous work in the field had pushed their most popular cooking technique far…

THE HEAVENS—Saying that He would only be gone for an hour or two, the Divine Creator of the Universe, God, announced…

CROTHERSVILLE, IN—Saying he sleepwalks through life until the next opportunity arises to savor tangy, slow-cooked…

NEW YORK CITY—Dubbing the new head chef of Michelin-starred restaurant The Haymarket as “the new bad boy of fine…

ATLANTA—Searching for anything bearing even a passing resemblance to a normal beverage, junior broker Eric Voss, 34,…