Sep 25Infographic9/25/20Infographic9/25/20The Onion’s Guide To Streaming ServicesStreaming services have proliferated in recent years as content-watching habits change, and it can be hard to choose…
Aug 3News in Brief8/3/20News in Brief8/3/20Knowledge That It Could Kill Him Actually Making Man Appreciate Day At Disney World A Lot MoreORLANDO, FL—Noting that his experience at the theme park had been far deeper and more meaningful than he ever could…
Mar 31News in Brief3/31/20News in Brief3/31/20Disney Announces Plans To Release ‘Mulan’ Directly Into Americans’ ConsciousnessBURBANK, CA—As studios continue to delay the theatrical runs of major films due to the global Covid-19 pandemic,…
Jan 23 2020News1/23/20News1/23/20‘Kingdom Hearts III’ DLC Developers Panicking After Realizing ‘Shrek’ Not Owned By DisneyAfter spending countless hours integrating elements from the popular 2001 animated fantasy film into role-playing…
Nov 25 2019News In Photos11/25/19News In Photos11/25/19Disney Attempts To Soften Corporate Image By Introducing New Baby Bob Iger
Nov 21 2019News in Brief11/21/19News in Brief11/21/19‘Frozen 2’ Creators Confirm That Elsa Gay But Also Trans-Exclusionary Radical FeministBURBANK, CA—Responding at last to rumors surrounding the beloved animated character, Frozen 2 co-directors Chris…
Nov 13 2019Infographic11/13/19Infographic11/13/19Features Of Disney PlusDisney Plus, the subscription streaming service from Disney, will launch November 12. The Onion takes a look at the…
Nov 12 2019News in Brief11/12/19News in Brief11/12/19Disney Plus Apologizes For Apparently Being All That Some Actual Adults HaveBURBANK, CA—Expressing their deepest condolences to those affected by technical glitches, Disney Plus officials…
Nov 12 2019News in Brief11/12/19News in Brief11/12/19Disney Plus Suffers Miserable Debut After Tennis Channel Launches Streaming Service On Same DayBURBANK, CA—In what industry analysts are calling an unprecedented shake-up in the streaming wars, several reports…
Sep 24 2019News in Brief9/24/19News in Brief9/24/19Disney Opens 200-Acre Sadomasochism Theme Park After Purchasing Rights To Hellraiser FranchiseORLANDO—Six years after acquiring the rights to the 1987 horror classic, Disney Parks, Experiences and Products…
Aug 23 2019News in Brief8/23/19News in Brief8/23/19Disneyland Employee Hastily Ad-Libs Story About How Much Goofy Loves Napping On The PavementANAHEIM, CA––Assuring the crowd of onlookers that the beloved cartoon character was merely enjoying a little rest…
Jun 21 2019Infographic6/21/19Infographic6/21/19‘The Lion King’ Turns 25This week marks 25 years since The Lion King was released by Disney in 1994, and over that time the animated film…
Jun 19 2019VideoOnion Film Standard6/19/19 VideoOnion Film Standard6/19/19The Onion Reviews ‘Toy Story 4’
May 23 2019News in Brief5/23/19News in Brief5/23/19Polite Disney World Guest Decides Not To Bother Mickey Mouse For PictureORLANDO, FL—In an effort to respect the privacy of the world-famous star, considerate Disney World guest Eric…