Sep 28News9/28/20News9/28/20BREAKING: ‘The Onion’ Has Obtained The IRS Tax Form 1040The duty of a free press has always been to provide readers with a comprehensive and unvarnished picture of the…
Oct 14 2019Commentary10/14/19Commentary10/14/19For Its 33rd Year, OGN Adamantly Refuses To Report On The Pinball Expo ‘Flip Out’ Tournament Or Any Pinball-Related NewsSince its inception, the Onion Gamers Network has prided itself on being the number-one source for all…
Sep 6 2018Commentary9/6/18Commentary9/6/18‘The Onion’ Has Chosen To Publish An Anonymous Op-Ed From Two Sources Close To Trump Who Think Their Dad Is The Best President EverToday, The Onion is making an unusual editorial decision, and we want to explain why. As turmoil continues to…
Aug 2 2018Commentary8/2/18Commentary8/2/18‘The Onion’ Proudly Stands With The Media As The Enemy Of The PeopleIn recent days, President Donald Trump has increased his criticism of the media, and at a briefing Thursday, his…
Jun 14 2018Commentary6/14/18Commentary6/14/18Cowardly Michael Cohen Chooses To Betray President, Go To Prison Rather Than Meet Face-To-Face With ‘The Onion’The Onion holds the virtues of integrity, courage, and accountability above all others, and after more than two…
May 22 2018Commentary5/22/18Commentary5/22/18In Response To Michael Cohen, ‘The Onion’ Pledges To Remove All Negative Trump Coverage In Exchange For A Direct Line To The PresidentThe Onion, in recent days, has attempted to contend with a serious legal threat issued in 2013 by the president’s…
May 21 2018Commentary5/21/18Commentary5/21/18‘The Onion’ Has Finally Read Michael Cohen’s 2013 Email Regarding His Client Donald Trump And Would Like To Discuss The Matter Further At His ConvenienceIn a free press, journalists must expose the truth even if it upsets those in power. Our work often leads to…
May 26 2017News5/26/17News5/26/17President Trump Has Enacted The ‘Theseus Protocol’: What Does That Mean For America?The documents referred to in this editorial are part of a trove of classified files provided to The Onion by an…
May 25 2017News5/25/17News5/25/17‘The Onion’ Invites Republican Candidate Greg Gianforte To Physically Assault Our Entire Editorial StaffGiven the important policies they oversee and the highly public nature of their work, it is to be expected that our…
May 25 2017News5/25/17News5/25/17Just Who Are The Trumps, Exactly?The documents referred to in this editorial are part of a trove of classified files provided to The Onion by an…
May 24 2017News5/24/17News5/24/17Every American Should Be Extremely Unsettled By The Initiatives Trump’s Cabinet Is PursuingThe documents referred to in this editorial are part of a trove of classified files provided to The Onion by an…
May 23 2017News5/23/17News5/23/17Who Are The Deeply Disturbed Individuals In Trump’s Inner Circle?The documents referred to in this editorial are part of a trove of classified files provided to The Onion by an…
May 22 2017News5/22/17News5/22/17What Is Trump Hiding?The documents referred to in this editorial are part of a trove of classified files provided to The Onion by an…
Dec 12 2016News12/12/16News12/12/16The Onion’s 2016 Fish Of The Year Is…This FishEvery 12 months, the editorial board of this newspaper convenes to select the recipient of our highest annual honor,…
Oct 25 2016News10/25/16News10/25/16The Onion Humbly Offers Up Its Offices To Imprison The Women Who Have Wrongfully Accused Donald TrumpIn recent weeks, a dozen women have come forward alleging that presidential nominee Donald J. Trump made unwanted…
Oct 12 2016News10/12/16News10/12/16‘The Onion’ Is Withholding Our Endorsement For President Until Both Candidates Respond To Our QuestionnaireThe American people are faced with a momentous choice in this election, one that this newspaper, with its 260-year…
Oct 4 2016News10/4/16News10/4/16‘The Onion’ Has Obtained Donald Trump’s Tax Returns And Has Chosen To Destroy ThemOur country stands at a pivotal inflection point, just five weeks out from a presidential election with…
Dec 11 2014News12/11/14News12/11/14The Onion’s Person Of The Year 2014(TIE) Malala Yousafzai And John Cena
Mar 11 2014Sports News3/11/14Sports News3/11/14‘The Onion’ Offers Richie Incognito A 5-Year, $50 Million ContractWith NFL free agency officially underway, front offices across the league are rushing to sign the best available…
Nov 25 2013News11/25/13News11/25/13‘The Onion’ Vows To Carry On Iran’s Nuclear Weapons Program Until The Job Is DoneYesterday, a group of high-ranking world leaders met in Geneva and brokered a six-month deal to limit the nuclear…