BOSTON—Despite everyone laughing at what is admittedly a very silly misunderstanding, a report released Tuesday…
KYIV, UKRAINE—In a desperate plea for aid in the continued effort to expel his nation’s Russian occupiers, sources…
AUSTIN, TX—Explaining that it was best to put him out of his misery as quickly as possible, local father and…
WASHINGTON—Saying those unable to execute a satisfying dance sequence posed a severe threat to the vibe, experts…
LOS ANGELES—Breaking the disappointing news as gently as he could, casting director Ray Ulrich told 9-year-old child…
Deciding which products will fulfill your basic needs or that gaping hole in your heart can be stressful. The…
Scott Adams, creator of the Dilbert comics, is receiving serious backlash for his tweet suggesting that a parent…
Ringling Brothers and Barnum & Bailey circus has announced the return of its big top circus that closed five years…
U2’s emotional tribute to the 9/11 perpetrators fell flat.
Like most years, 2021 featured a bunch of famous people dying. The Onion looks back at those we lost in 2021.
Dang, we have some really unhappy news to share with gaming fans today, news that it brings us no pleasure to write…
GLENBROOK, IL—Turning the words over in his head in a dogged attempt to understand their import, Ted Dobbes, a local…
BRENTWOOD, CA—Unaccustomed to the sheer intensity of the sights and sounds before them, post-pandemic cinema-goers’…
WASHINGTON—Striding briskly through the country’s backstage areas, the nation’s stage managers announced Friday that…
LOS ANGELES—Anxiously stirring in his chair as the barber was interrupted once again, barbershop customer Jerry…
For fans of the classic 1999 strategy game, RollerCoaster Tycoon brings up a lot of fond memories: That…
NEW YORK—Providing staff members with an energetic and interactive cautionary tale, The Big Apple Players Company…
Defending world champion Joey Chestnut broke his own record Sunday, devouring 76 hot dogs in 10 minutes, 26 more…