The Inventory

Nation’s Math Professors Announce Plans To Continue Wearing Chinos With Running Shoes Indefinitely

‘Voila,’ Yells Exhausted Lady Gaga During 149th Consecutive Costume Change As Met Visitors Gingerly Step Over Her

Man Wearing Cobra Command Shirt Missed The Whole Point Of ‘G.I. Joe’

4/23/19 11:22AM

None Of Mom’s Clothes Can Be Cleaned Using Washing Machine

3/21/19 10:11AM

Dress That Would Have Forever Altered Course Of Woman’s Life Patted, Placed Back On Rack

Spanx Introduces New Line Of Smoke Bombs For Concealing Unwanted Bumps And Bulges

Karl Lagerfeld Horrified By Uninspired, Garish Tunnel Of Light Coming Toward Him

2/19/19 12:42PM

Coworkers Agog As Employee Introduces New Shirt Into Rotation

2/18/19 10:48AM

Mom Sends Blurry, Indistinct Photo Of Computer Screen Showing Boots You Might Like

12/07/18 12:51PM

Naked Man Refusing To Let Unworthy Attire Touch His Body Until Launch Of New Onion Store Merchandise

11/14/18 12:13PM

Report: 80% Of Women Currently Wearing Wrong Size Bra, Shirt, Shoes, Pants, Hat

New Smithsonian Exhibit Details How Fashion Pioneers Tamed The Frumpy West

Clothes Come To Forefront As Major Theme In This Year’s New York Fashion Week

Scientists Finally Figure Out What Hats Do

8/02/18 11:01AM

Brooks Brothers Unveils New Line Of Monogramed Cum Rags

David’s Bridal Introduces New Line Of Whore-Red Dresses For Wicked, Impure Divorcées’ Shameful Second Weddings

5/31/18 10:25AM

Levi’s Unveils New Line Of Jeans With Size Written Across The Whole Ass

5/24/18 12:03PM

Woman Attempts To Cram Few Years’ Worth Of Body Positivity Into 20 Minutes Before Trying On Bathing Suits

5/22/18 12:02PM

Men’s Wearhouse Introduces Clip-On Trousers For Guys Who Never Learned How To Put On Pants

70-Year-Old Woman Decides It Time To Start Dressing Entirely In Purple

3/30/18 11:30AM

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