TACOMA, WA—Having spent years making excuses to avoid socializing with friends and acquaintances, local man Eric Shulman's explanations for why he can't hang out have grown more and more sophisticated over time, sources confirmed Saturday.
PRINCETON, NJ—According to a new report published this week, researchers at Princeton University and the Institute for Advanced Study have definitively concluded that it—all of it—is some kind of sick joke.
MONTGOMERY, AL—In a major scandal that could cast doubt on his political future, U.S. Senate candidate Chris Wilfred came under fire this week for comments he made alleging he had died heroically while fighting in the Vietnam War.
ATLANTA—Concerned workers at the National Primate Research Center said Bobo, a 5-year-old chimpanzee participating in a 16-month cocaine study, was observed this week lying to the faces of friends, family, and staff.
We've been together quite a while now, and I truly believe that if our relationship is going to last—if we're really going to commit to a future together—we need to communicate as openly and honestly as possible. I know it's difficult to reveal private aspects of your life to another person, but it's time we took that…
HOLLYWOOD, CA—Popular film actor Vince Vaughn appeared on NBC's Tonight Show Monday to brazenly and unapologetically deceive the American people about his latest movie, Couples Retreat.
LEBANON, OHIO—Apollo 11 mission commander and famed astronaut Neil Armstrong shocked reporters at a press conference Monday, announcing he had been convinced that his historic first step on the moon was part of an elaborate hoax orchestrated by the United States government.
Congress says that with no way to actually pay back our debts, faking a coup to eliminate financial obligations is the best plan for the U.S. economy.
WASHINGTON—After nearly four months of frank, honest, and open dialogue about the failing economy, a weary U.S. populace announced this week that it is once again ready to be lied to about the current state of the financial system.
A professional wrestling "fan" has written a shocking new book that claims wrestling fans are actually paid actors.
MISSOULA, MT—Only a thin tissue of lies screens area resident Jessica Jurgensen from the unpleasant reality that her friend Gina Tobler forgot her 34th birthday, which occurred four days ago.
WASHINGTON, DC—In allegations likely to further erode Americans' faith in the office of the presidency, presidents George Washington through George W. Bush may have lied about key matters of national import during their tenures as chief executive, an independent-counsel investigation asserted Monday.
DO YOU WANT TO MAKE MORE MONEY? Have you ever dreamed about working from the comfort of your own home? Do you wish you could be your own boss, working as much or as little as you like?
BATON ROUGE, LA—Employing a silly voice and jocular manner to suggest a lack of serious intentions, Dennis Vukelich, 29, pretended to hit on a woman he’d like to hit on for real Monday.
GRAND JUNCTION, CO—Marnie Powell, a seventh-grader at Grand Junction Middle School, lied to her diary Monday, filling the journal with several out-and-out fabrications. "I had the best time at Jessica's party," wrote the 13-year-old honors student, recording the falsehood in purple ink. "There were tons of cool guys,…
CONCORD, NH–Area 9-year-old Andrew Mota lied to his parents Monday, telling them that he was at the park after school and sparing them the unpleasant truth that he was setting off fireworks at the quarry with friends. "[Parents] Patrick and Adrienne are very fragile emotionally," Mota said. "Telling them something…
DALLAS–The résumé of aspiring telejournalist Jonathan Krieger, liberally padded with exaggerations and flat-out lies, was deemed "unimpressive" Monday by Sandi Robertson, human-resources director of Dallas NBC affiliate KXAS. "This applicant has served as assistant news director at a number of medium-market stations,"…
HOPE SPRINGS, AR—The holy and sacrosanct miracle of birth, long revered by human civilization as the most mysterious and magical of all phenomena, took place for what experts are estimating "must be at least the 83 billionth time" Tuesday with the successful delivery of eight-pound, four-ounce baby boy Darryl Brandon…
VAN NUYS, CA–Investigations are continuing into the recent downfall of Jack Castle, an ex-cop drawn into a web of intrigue and deceit by a frequently naked woman.