MUSCAT, OMAN—Sifting through various items in his dresser and closet, 36-year-old Omani graduate student Raed Saleh told reporters Monday that he was not sure how many days’ worth of airport detention clothes to bring for his upcoming trip to the United States. “I definitely want to pack enough to last me the entire…
BRISBANE, AUSTRALIA—In an effort to strengthen diplomatic ties between the global superpowers’ most oafish representatives, sources confirmed Thursday that schlubs from the United States and China met in Australia this week for a series of lowest-level talks.
VIENNA—Asserting the Middle Eastern nation’s right to a safe, peaceful energy program, members of the Iranian diplomatic team attempted to seek more favorable terms of a deal with the P5+1 global powers while openly assembling a nuclear weapon in the negotiating room, sources confirmed Monday. “Iran will not agree to…
BEIJING—Celebrating the milestone with hugs, jubilant cheers, and singing, over 600,000 Chinese citizens assembled in Tiananmen Square today to watch the U.S. debt clock mounted above the Forbidden City reach the landmark sum of $18 trillion dollars. “You could stay home and watch it on TV, but it’s much more exciting…
From the moment I showed up at the General Assembly, the other countries knew I was trouble. They took one look at my three- button navy suit jacket and my dark, searing eyes, and prayed to whatever God they knew up there to keep their daughters safe from me. I guess it was the way I just waltzed right in, pulled my…
WASHINGTON, DC—According to employees at the nonprofit organization Refugees International, each of the four new fall interns has been trying to impress the staff by being the first to solve the refugee crisis in Burma before their internships end in December. "I don't mind them attempting to levy sanctions against…
WASHINGTON, DC—According to an alarming new Department of Defense report combining civilian, military, and calendric evidence, Iran may be as few as nine years away from the year 2016. "Every day they get one day closer," Defense Secretary Robert Gates said during a White House press conference Tuesday. "At the rate…
In an interview with the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette, former President Jimmy Carter referred to the Bush administration's foreign policy as the "worst in history." What do you think?
Lady Liberty's Spanish Menace Returns For Revenge
In a Republican presidential debate on Tuesday, former Massachusetts governor Mitt Romney said he would support doubling the detention facilities in Guantánamo. What do you think?
Queen Elizabeth II of England is visiting the United States for the fifth time in 50 years. What is on her itinerary?
The United States recently filed several complaints with the World Trade Organization against the Chinese government for its failure to clamp down on media piracy and counterfeiting. Here are some other measures the U.S. has taken to combat the problem:
WASHINGTON, DC—The Department of Homeland Security announced Monday that its Counter-Counterterrorism Unit successfully carried out its largest and most complex anti-anti-terror exercise to date, destroying the Washington Monument in a massive explosion that left 122 dead, dozens more injured, and the area around the…
Argentina is reasserting its claim to the Falkland Islands from England. What do you think?
Citing studies that say that circumcision can cut the chances of contracting HIV by up to 60 percent, United Nations health agencies are urging heterosexual males to undergo the procedure. What do you think?
