Man Starting To Think Only Reason People Hanging Out With Him Because They All On Same Jury
AUSTIN, TX—Expressing his concern that the relationships may be based on obligation rather than real friendship, local…
Mom Decides Enough Time Has Passed To Lose Touch With Paramedic Who Saved Son’s Life
PHILADELPHIA—Saying it would likely be no big deal to skip her monthly phone call, Rhea Mann, 47, decided Tuesday that…
Man Watches Helplessly As White Elephant Exchange Completely Devolves Into Friends Just Chatting And Having Nice Time
CHICAGO—Staring wide-eyed at the table full of unopened presents being largely ignored by guests, local man Rick Joseph…
Mental Health Experts Say Friends Giving Away Possessions Could Be Warning Sign They Planning On Moving
BOSTON—In an effort to educate Americans on the common warning signs, mental health experts at Boston University issued…
Tips For Ending A Friendship
Just like any relationship, friendships can reach a point where they’re not beneficial to both participants, but ending…
Wildest Friend Called Up From Bench To Help Woman Get Over Breakup
ST. LOUIS, MO—Explaining that the severity of the situation called for desperate and perhaps even borderline extreme…
College Freshman Has Friend From Home Visiting Way Too Soon
GALESBURG, IL—Baffled by the unusual pace of their classmate’s social involvement, residents at a Knox College…
Man Going To Restroom Deputizes Friend To Order Him Another Beer
HYANNIS, MA—Officially transferring authority for the duration of his planned absence, area man Will Lewis deputized…
Surgeon Pretty Bummed About Losing Patient, But It Not Like They Were Good Friends Or Anything
BOSTON—Admitting he only knew the guy for “a couple weeks, tops,” local cardiac surgeon Dr. David Griffiths told…
It Pretty Obvious What Friend Will Look Like Old
LAFAYETTE, LA—Noting that their close friend’s current musculoskeletal structure already provided ample evidence as to…
Woman Informs Husband That He Made New Friend
ANN ARBOR, MI—Noting that the two had really seemed to hit it off at the neighborhood barbeque, Sheila Glaspy informed…
Talkative Motherfucker Not So Extroverted Now That Friend Got Off Train
CHICAGO—Noting that the gregarious bastard got pretty shy real damn quick once his little playmate disappeared, public…
Man Directs Full Force Of Anecdote Toward Single Person After Rest Of Group Moves On To Different Topic
PRINCETON, NJ—Watching helplessly as his fellow partygoers moved on to a different topic of conversation, local man…
Friend Insists You Just Have To Climb Ladder, Hop Gap, Scale Wall To See The View From Apartment’s Roof
DENVER—Promising that it was really easy to get up there once you duck through the kitchen window, local man Alex…
10-Year-Old First Responders Rush To Bike Crash Scene To Check Out Tyler’s Fucked-Up Leg
NAZARETH, PA—Sprinting down driveways and cutting through bushes to lock down the situation as quickly as possible, a…
Ex-Boyfriend Hopes To Still Be Terrible, Incompatible Friends
DENVER, CO—Insisting the turmoil didn’t need to stop just because the relationship had ended, local man Alex Ware was…
Freak Totally Has The Hots For You, Popular-Girl Sources Report
JOLIET, IL—Purposefully whispering loud enough for everyone in the cafeteria to overhear, popular-girl sources reported…
Friend Who Listened To Podcast On Watergate Bursts Into Conversation With Guns Fucking Blazing
SEATTLE, WA—Calling on facts and information learned while listening to a podcast about the Watergate scandal the…