Dec 9News in Brief12/9/20News in Brief12/9/20Boyfriend’s Crumbling Mess Of A Life Provides Woman With Rich Array Of Christmas Gift IdeasPORTLAND, ME—Marveling at the veritable bonanza of choices offered by his current situation, local woman Alessa…
Feb 17News In Photos2/17/20News In Photos2/17/20Man Who Didn’t Order Anything Online Still Checks Name On Package Just In Case Amazon Sent Him A Little Present
Dec 17 2019News in Brief12/17/19News in Brief12/17/19Area Man Has Little Present For YouSCOTTSDALE, AZ—Appearing seemingly out of nowhere as he clutched the neatly wrapped box to his chest, area man Greg…
Oct 4 2019News in Brief10/4/19News in Brief10/4/19Trump Furiously Searching Raytheon Catalog For Gift After Realizing He Promised China And Ukraine Same Javelin MissileWASHINGTON—Scanning for discounts in the precision weapon and early warning satellite sections, a visibly distressed…
Dec 21 2018News in Brief12/21/18News in Brief12/21/18Man Watches Helplessly As White Elephant Exchange Completely Devolves Into Friends Just Chatting And Having Nice TimeCHICAGO—Staring wide-eyed at the table full of unopened presents being largely ignored by guests, local man Rick…
Dec 20 2018News In Photos12/20/18News In Photos12/20/18Report: There Nothing Else In Bottom Of Gift Bag
Dec 22 2017News in Brief12/22/17News in Brief12/22/17Child Who Just Wanted Clothes Spares Uncle’s Feelings By Pretending To Like XboxHAVERHILL, MA—Doing his best to mask his disappointment that the package didn’t contain the cable-knit cashmere…
Dec 21 2017News in Brief12/21/17News in Brief12/21/17Everyone In Sporting Goods Store Looking For Something To Get On Stepson’s Good SideSANTA CLARITA, CA—Intently scanning the aisles for something that might convince the children they were okay guys…
Dec 19 2017News In Photos12/19/17News In Photos12/19/17Secret Santa Seems To Think You A Big ‘Laverne & Shirley’ Fan
Sep 7 2017News In Photos9/7/17News In Photos9/7/17Wrapped, Labeled Christmas Presents Already Stacked In Grandmother’s Spare Bedroom
Jun 15 2017Infographic6/15/17Infographic6/15/17The Onion’s Father’s Day Gift GuideThe Onion presents a selection of gifts perfect for every dad just in time for Father’s Day.
May 10 2017Infographic5/10/17Infographic5/10/17The Onion’s Mother’s Day Gift GuideWith Mother’s Day just around the corner, The Onion has put together a selection of gifts that any mom would love.
Dec 8 2016Infographic12/8/16Infographic12/8/16Hottest Items Of The 2016 Holiday Shopping SeasonNeed some holiday shopping inspiration? Here are the top-selling gifts in 2016.
Dec 1 2016News in Brief12/1/16News in Brief12/1/16Mom Wants One Of Those Things Your Sister Has For ChristmasCHICAGO—Noting that your sibling always mentions that she really likes hers and uses it all the time, your mother…
Nov 1 2016News in Brief11/1/16News in Brief11/1/16Mom Produces Decorative Gift Bag Out Of Thin AirLEXINGTON, MA—Conjuring the item into existence along with several sheets of perfectly coordinated tissue paper,…
May 8 2015News in Brief5/8/15News in Brief5/8/15Unemployed Sibling Makes Last Push For Group Mother’s Day GiftFOX CHAPEL, PA—Asserting that the gesture would mean a lot more coming from all of them, local unemployed man Jeff…