Department Of Interior Reopens National Parks After Filling In All Canyons Posing Hazardous Fall Risk To Visitors

WASHINGTON—Apologizing for the delay as they worked to correct the dangerous oversight, the U.S. Department of the Interior announced Thursday that they had reopened the country’s national parks after finally filling in all the canyons posing hazardous fall risks to visitors. “We are proud to announce that we’ve…

Ryan Zinke Calls For Legislation To Slow Down Destruction Of Wildlife So He Can Truly Savor Every Minute Of It

WASHINGTON—Declaring the rapid decrease in the population of several endangered species “problematic,” Secretary of the Interior Ryan Zinke called for new legislation Thursday designed to slow the destruction of the nation’s wildlife so that he might relish every last minute of its extinction. “We need to preserve…

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