Tired of trying to stay clean all the time? Try this completely germ-free dwelling in the heart of the Arctic Circle, where no germs can survive! Low rent! (You may be asked to collect the occasional scientific data and sign my name to it.)
Place those hands around your neck and start your wondrous journey to a place where there is no pain! But don’t go all the way. Not yet.
Listen to the soothing sounds of conversations with people who don’t know you can hear them while sitting on an old tarp near some cinderblocks. Don’t move around too much or they’ll hear you.
Rent a beach house, rent a car, rent a boat, rent a bike for a couple hours, and see what else you can rent in the rental capital of the U.S.!
Why can’t I just camp out in the backyard? Come on, it’s warm enough! Jared could stay over and we won’t be too loud. The neighbors won’t care! Come on! Why not?!
This one-of-a-kind place offers food, sites, and people specific to it. There are ways to get alcohol and beds to sleep in at night, and the weather may be favorable depending on when you visit.
The bushes out front are long gone and some guy named Steve lives there now.
The iconic grunge singer most likely walked past this stop on several occasions. Unless this is one of those new bus stops that they put in a few years ago.
Learn about the history of buckets with a self-guided tour through the museum's four fascinating exhibits, then sit down and watch the hourly documentary about buckets and their role in winning America's independence.
Why not load up the kids and head on over to grandma's house? She has candies, and who knows, she might be dead this time next year.
Let’s go! Come on, it’ll be fun. Have you ever been to the Lucky Star Lanes? They turn on a bunch of neon lights and play disco music after 9! It’s just bowling, it won’t kill you. We never go out anymore.
Come explore the world’s only theme park dedicated to fun with land! Ride the Topsoil Coaster, make your own map, and learn how many pounds of seed you’ll need per acre! And don’t forget to try the Tilt-a-Dirt!
Stroll through more than 200 picturesque rows of my beautiful orange trees. Pick as many of my oranges as you’d like—in fact, pick them all! But don’t eat them. Bring them back to me! No pay.
If you enjoy ancient civilizations and are a huge dick, then you’ll love this 12-day guided tour of Anatolian wine cellars, spice farms, and prehistoric caves, which is specially designed for the smuggest limp-dick pricks. Dying to see Cappadocia? Even know what Cappadocia is? Then book today, asshole, and join us…
No one’s using it at the moment. Go ahead, take a seat. You can always get up if someone comes back.
Come stick your nose up in the air! Beautiful Charlotte, NC is an olfactory delight—flowers,barbecue, motorsports, and for just the right aficionado, maybe an old cigar or two!
The island’s ancient, solemn carved stone faces, known as moai, are regarded by natives as deifications of long-dead ancestors and clan chieftains. So come behold these truly mystical, awe-inspiring sights, and remember that August is silly-wig month.
Can't go to a wine festival because you gave up drinking? Come drink hundreds of flavors of iced tea with a bunch of other people getting their lives together!
Let this quiet 14-by-14-foot alcove be your sweet respite from the pile of work on your bed, the unsorted receipts on your desk, and the closet full of clothes that haven't fit you since November!
Even though the shuttle program is over, the fun's not over at NASA. Come on down to Houston and see for yourself at the brand new Johnson Space Center Haunted House.