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10-Pack Of Swiss Miss Bracing Itself To Shoulder Burden Of Holding Together Man’s Depressing Holiday Alone

YPSILANTI, MI—Preparing to bear the brunt of the lonely winter vacation, a 10-pack of Swiss Miss hot chocolate was reportedly bracing itself Monday to shoulder the burden of holding together local man Josh Hesford’s depressing holiday alone. “Okay, it’s just me and him for the holidays, but don’t worry, you got this,”…

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Melania Trump Hangs Decayed Badger Carcass Over White House Mantel To Finish Off Traditional Slovenian Christmas Decor

WASHINGTON—Smiling as she found just the right spot for the decoration, Melania Trump hung a decayed badger carcass over the White House mantel Thursday in keeping with the traditions of Slovenian Christmas. “Ah, it finally feels like the holidays,” said the First Lady, adding that the animal’s decomposing remains…