Kotex Introduces New Confetti Popper Tampons For Ringing In The New Year
IRVING, TX—Calling the feminine hygiene product the perfect way to usher in 2019 with comfort and style, Kotex…
Pros And Cons Of Making New Year’s Resolutions
While New Year’s resolutions are popular, studies show that the majority of them are never achieved, making whether to…
Exhausted Robert Mueller Turns Off Phone To Give Himself Breather From Russia Probe News Over Holiday Break
WASHINGTON—Desperate to unwind after months of nonstop work investigating Russian influence in the 2016 election,…
Man Watches Helplessly As White Elephant Exchange Completely Devolves Into Friends Just Chatting And Having Nice Time
CHICAGO—Staring wide-eyed at the table full of unopened presents being largely ignored by guests, local man Rick Joseph…
Ho, Ho, Ho! Send Me $100 Billion By Christmas Or I Will Detonate A Dirty Bomb In 5 Major Cities!
Season’s greetings from your old friend Santa! My, my, it seems the Christmas season comes a bit earlier each year,…
Ecstatic Pope Francis Finally Lands Role As Mary In St. Peter’s Christmas Pageant
VATICAN CITY—Excitedly catching a glimpse of his name atop the cast list posted outside the Apostolic Palace, an…
Radio Station Playing Controversial ‘Little Drummer Boy’ On Repeat In Defiance Of Those Who Claim It Contains Sexually Predatory Themes
LEXINGTON, KY—Pushing back against what they view as political correctness run amok, DJs at local radio station 104.5…
Thousands Of Drunk Revelers Dressed As Jesus Descend On Vatican For Annual ChristCon Pub Crawl
VATICAN CITY—Packing the cobblestone streets and clad in prosthetic beards, sandals, and crowns of thorns, thousands of…
Raytheon Employee Going To Be Pissed If Bonus Just Missile Again
WALTHAM, MA—Saying he was sick and tired of getting shortchanged by the defense contractor, Raytheon employee Dennis…
Divorced Parents A Little Hurt Child’s Christmas List Doesn’t Include Heartbreaking Wish For Them To Get Back Together
DAYTON, OH—Expressing disappointment at the evident lack of concern for their failed relationship, divorced parents Tim…