Hurricane Sandy Recovery Efforts
Relief agencies, businesses, and government are banding together with volunteers and local citizens to rebuild…
Atlantic City Faces Long Recovery Before It Can Start Destroying Lives Again
ATLANTIC CITY, NJ—In the wake of Hurricane Sandy, Atlantic City officials warned Friday that it could take weeks or…
Romney Pitches In To Repair Thousands Of Downed Romney-Ryan Lawn Signs
MANTOLOKING, NJ—Saying he had been deeply shaken by the extent of Hurricane Sandy’s destruction, Republican…
Nation Suddenly Realizes This Just Going To Be A Thing That Happens From Now On
NEW YORK—Following Hurricane Sandy’s destructive tear through the Northeast this week, the nation’s 300 million…
Report: Only Way Nation Will Pay Attention To Climate Change Is If Julia Roberts Dies In Hurricane
TALLAHASSEE, FL—As the nation recovers from Hurricane Sandy, Florida State University researchers released a report…
Lone Doofus Has Been Waiting 36 Hours For Next C Train
BROOKLYN, NY—Despite the fact that all New York City subway service has been shut down since Sunday night due to…
Superstorm Sandy Kills 38
Though downgraded to a post-tropical cyclone, Sandy has left 38 U.S. residents dead, cut electricity to 8.2 million,…
Mom Just Called To Make Sure You're Not Under That Dangling Crane
BOISE, ID—Calling to check on him for the fourth consecutive morning amid reports of the dangers posed by Hurricane…
New Jersey Residents Avoid Rising Floodwater By Climbing To Top Of Chris Christie
EWING, NJ—Heeding the instructions of state officials and emergency personnel, thousands of New Jersey residents were…
Ways To Wait Out Hurricane Sandy
With Hurricane Sandy shuttering schools, businesses, and transit services up and down the East Coast, tens of millions…
Misinformed Man Riding Out Storm In Bathtub Filled With Batteries
BROOKLYN, NY—Saying that “you can’t be too prepared,” Brooklyn resident and seriously misinformed man Jason Randolph…
20 Idiots Evacuated From Times Square M&M's Store
NEW YORK—With Hurricane Sandy pounding New York City with powerful winds and a dangerous storm surge Monday, emergency…
Hurricane Gives Holed-Up Couple Great Chance To Have All Those Fights They've Been Avoiding
NEW YORK—Holed up in their apartment while Hurricane Sandy continues its path up the East Coast, local couple Tim…
Hurricane Sandy Slams East Coast
Bringing winds up to 85 miles per hour, a potentially devastating storm surge, and the threat of blizzard conditions at…