The Onion News Network investigates the dangerous tradition of Fall Break parties where college students chug maple syrup and strip down to their long underwear.

Pennington, IL's only African-American family moves to the other side of town, causing residents to reminisce about the "Black part of town."

Library patrons in Pennington, IL report that something definitely smells like weed back in the young adult section.

On This Day In History, the astronauts of Apollo 12 landed on the moon to collect the pizza boxes and beer cans left behind by the famous Apollo 11 astronauts.

When the war in Afghanistan leaves a woman without a husband, caring reporter O'Brady Shaw steps in to replace him.

Shelby Cross warns viewers to protect themselves by becoming a completely different person every few years.

The First Responders discuss how to keep the amateur porn you make from affecting your job search.

In the Daily Briefing, NASA scientists ask the Russians to please stop using the ISS as a personal porn studio and a Taliban attack on U.S. forces has led officials to announce they are 'so glad pretty soon America won't have to deal with this shit anymore'.

On Today Now!, Jim and Tracy welcome two Sacramento teens who collected clothing for their classmate so she wouldn't have to look like a homeless person.

On Today Now!, a consumer expert shows Jim a new Applebee's commercial that urges young people to come and mock their restaurants.

Presidential hopeful Mitt Romney's approval rating is way up after a prostitute reveals she paid Romney to sleep with her, not the other way around.

Shelby Cross continues her crusade against bogs and marshes, which are good for nothing other than hiding bodies.

On "Raw Story," O'Brady Shaw Investigates what may have been a shooting at a local mall, or may have been something else altogether.

A recent report finds that one man is selfishly working thousands of jobs while other Americans go without even one.

Democrats charge that Republican members of Congress are preventing the passage of the bills by moving very slowly.

President Obama works out an agreement to have Republicans in Congress kick him in the balls in exchange for nothing.

Psychic Kenneth Quinn connects Today Now! studio guests with former landlords and friends of work friends who have died for stilted conversations from beyond.

In the Daily Briefing, Tucker Hope reports on Kanye West's feud with Syria and a company's decision not to bother recalling a defective hotplate.

After an earthquake renders hundreds of dogs homeless, reporter O'Brady Shaw pledges to put down every last animal himself.

Pennington, IL mayor Sue Hallinan resigns in shame after passing bad coupons at the local Kroger. (Aired 10/4/11)