Man Insists Facebook Friend Actually Reads ‘Why Palestinians Are Sub-Human’ Article Before Commenting On It

DALLAS, TX—Describing his acquaintance’s backlash as intellectually dishonest, local man Gabe Weaver insisted Wednesday that his Facebook friend Matt Nathans reads the article he shared titled “Why Palestinians Are Sub-Human” before commenting on it. “Why don’t you actually examine the author’s carefully laid out…

‘My God, I’ve Discovered The Missing Link In The Russia Investigation,’ Think 379,000 Reddit Users Simultaneously

WASHINGTON—Concluding they had finally located the smoking gun, 379,000 Reddit users are reported to have simultaneously developed the belief that they had found the missing link in the investigation into alleged ties between Russia and President Trump’s 2016 campaign. “This is it—this is going to blow everything wide…

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Researchers Find Decline In Facebook Use Could Be Directly Linked To Desire To Be Happy, Fully Functioning Person

BERKELEY, CA—Researchers at University of California-Berkeley discovered Friday that a reduction in Facebook use could be directly linked to one’s desire to be a happy and fully functioning person. “Our data indicate that there may, in fact, be a relationship between yearning to be a self-realized human who enjoys…