PoliticsPolitics‘Don’t Worry, I’ll Always Be Here To Fight Climate Change,’ Says Jay Inslee Before Ethereally Turning Into Majestic OakSEQUIM, WA—In a speech delivered to supporters addressing the end of his presidential campaign, Washington Governor…
PoliticsPoliticsDNC Committee Throws Bound Jay Inslee Onto Melting Iceberg Before Pushing Him Out To SeaANTARCTICA—Cackling as they stuffed a rag into the Democratic governor’s mouth and tied his hands behind his back,…
PoliticsPoliticsJay Inslee Recalls Decision To Run For President After 5 Teens From Across Globe Pressed Enchanted Rings Together To Call Him Into ExistenceOLYMPIA, WA—Explaining to reporters how he had arrived at the difficult decision, 2020 Democratic presidential…
PoliticsPoliticsJay Inslee Smashes Through Wall Of Town Hall In Solar-Powered Mech Suit To Announce Climate Change PlanWASHINGTON—Unveiling sweeping policy positions that would transform the nation’s electric grid and combat emissions,…