The Inventory

License To Negotiate: A Look Back At The Covert Operations Of Secretary Of State John Kerry

Shackled Kerry Looks On As Chechen Terror Leader Removes Mask To Reveal Scarred Face Of Former Mentor

Frantic John Kerry Looks On As Teresa Slowly Lowered Into Kim Jong-Un’s Electric Eel Tank

Bloodied, Bruised John Kerry Emerges Victorious At Kickboxing Tournament In Bangkok Prison

John Kerry Throws Vine Over Pit Of Quicksand To Save Child Companion

12/05/16 12:18PM

Gaunt, Weathered John Kerry Leads Prisoner Uprising In Siberian Labor Camp

11/15/16 10:25AM

John Kerry Scrambles To Stop Bunker’s Self-Destruct Sequence As Russian Oligarch Taunts Him From Bank Of Monitors

10/11/16 2:05PM

‘The Case, Mr. Kerry, Give Me The Case,’ Demands Malaysian Ambassador Holding Dangling John Kerry From Petronas Towers Skybridge

John Kerry Jettisons Russian Henchmen From International Space Station Airlock

Kerry Downs Another Vodka Shot As The Last Of Putin’s Security Detail Passes Out

10/05/15 8:50AM

Nicaraguan Diplomat Drops Deadly Spider Onto John Kerry’s Blanket

8/06/15 11:50AM

Lovestruck Arabian Princess Begs Father To Spare John Kerry’s Life

Eclipse Comes Just In Time To Save John Kerry From Tribe Of Island Cannibals

8/27/14 11:38AM

‘To Defeat Them, I Must Become Them,’ John Kerry Says While Putting On Black Face Mask

John Kerry Poses As Masseuse To Get Few Minutes With Putin

John Kerry Sits In Shadows Of Kiev Café Awaiting Woman Known Only As Dasha

Swift Boat Veterans For Truth Clear John Kerry After Exhaustive 9-Year Investigation

John Kerry Costs U.S. Defense Industry $400 Billion

John Kerry Lost Somewhere In Gobi Desert

4/05/13 11:00AM

The Onion Demands John Kerry Tell The Truth About His Swift Boat Service

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