Mental Health - America's Finest News Source | The Onion

America's Finest News Source.

America's Finest News Source.

4/6/20

2:21 PM

News in Brief4/6/20

News in Brief4/6/20

Crazed, Quarantined Mental Health Experts Recommend Scrawling ‘Everything Will Be Okay’ In Feces On Wall

3/9/20

1:11 PM

News in Brief3/9/20

News in Brief3/9/20

Woman’s Subconscious Not Sure How Much More Clearly It Can Communicate That Her Teeth Going To Fall Out Soon

2/24/20

8:52 AM

News in Brief2/24/20

News in Brief2/24/20

Concerned Baby Starting To Worry Lethargic, Distant Mom Not Suffering From Postpartum Depression At All

2/3/20

12:22 PM

News in Brief2/3/20

News in Brief2/3/20

Man Wastes Entire Life Chasing Unrealistic Pipe Dream Of Being Loved And Respected

1/20/20

1:00 PM

Slideshow1/20/20

Slideshow1/20/20

Top 6 Happiest Countries In The World

1/17/20

3:43 PM

News in Brief1/17/20

News in Brief1/17/20

Man Assumed Being Heartless, Egotistical Maniac Would Have Made Him Richer By Now

12/18/19

8:00 AM

News in Brief12/18/19

News in Brief12/18/19

Study Finds Comparing Yourself To Others Actually Pretty Good Way To Gauge Success

12/3/19

8:00 AM

News in Brief12/3/19

News in Brief12/3/19

‘Team Umizoomi Actually Kind Of Interesting,’ Reports Stay-At-Home Dad On Verge Of Full Psychotic Breakdown

11/25/19

7:00 AM

News In Photos11/25/19

News In Photos11/25/19

Terrifying New Therapist Asks Why You Chose That Chair

11/21/19

2:17 PM

News in Brief11/21/19

News in Brief11/21/19

Only Person Who Ever Truly Saw World For What It Is Starts Antidepressant Medication

10/21/19

8:00 AM

News In Photos10/21/19

News In Photos10/21/19

Paranoid Trump Surrounded By Completely Unfamiliar Faces Of Immediate Family Members

10/7/19

1:51 PM

News in Brief10/7/19

News in Brief10/7/19

Learning To Love Himself Getting Man Out Of A Lot Of Painful Self-Reflection

9/27/19

1:22 PM

Onion Magazine9/27/19

Onion Magazine9/27/19

I Was Overweight, Depressed, Broke, Drinking Too Much, Tired All The Time, Unhappily Married, Had Terrible Breath, My Penis Was Bleeding, Like, A Lot, My Pets Were Dying On A Daily Basis, I Was In The KKK, I Had Committed 17 Murders, I Was 86 Years Old, I Was A Heavy Smoker, And I Only Had One Tooth Which Was Over A Foot Long. Here’s How I Turned It All Around.

9/19/19

8:00 AM

News in Brief9/19/19

News in Brief9/19/19

Retail Employee Has Little Daily Ritual Where He Drinks Dr. Pepper In Quiet Corner Of Stock Room And Doesn’t Kill Himself

7/30/19

12:32 PM

News in Brief7/30/19

News in Brief7/30/19

Researchers Confirm Meditation Can Reduce Stress But Totally Get It If You Were Just Venting And Don’t Actually Want Advice

7/19/19

8:52 AM

Infographic7/19/19

Infographic7/19/19

How Different Colors Affect Your Brain And Body

7/1/19

9:00 AM

News in Brief7/1/19

News in Brief7/1/19

Extremely Effective Therapist Just Lets Patients Beat Shit Out Of Him For 45 Minutes

6/28/19

10:33 AM

News in Brief6/28/19

News in Brief6/28/19

Experts Say Earliest Warning Signs Of Mental Health Issues Usually Crossing Eyes While Dribbling Finger On Lips, Saying ‘Cuckoo, Cuckoo’

6/5/19

8:00 AM

News in Brief6/5/19

News in Brief6/5/19

Therapist Who Spent Decade Working With Sex-Trafficking Survivors Urges Client To Go On About How Boss Is Sometimes Too Curt

5/30/19

11:11 AM

News in Brief5/30/19

News in Brief5/30/19

Report: Happiness Does Not Measurably Increase Based On Zipline Ownership Once Family Owns 7 Ziplines

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