Babbling, Grinning Mitch McConnell Demands EMTs Loading Him On Stretcher Vote Yes On Healthcare Bill

WASHINGTON—A crazed grin spreading across his face as his eyes darted wildly from one paramedic to another, sources said Tuesday that a babbling Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell demanded that the EMTs loading him onto a stretcher outside the Capitol vote ‘Yes’ on the Graham-Cassidy healthcare bill. “Obamacare is…

It Would Really Help Me Out If You Guys Could Just Give Up Your Health Insurance This One Time

Hey there, it’s your ol’ pal, Mitch. How’ve you been? Great, great. Anyways, I got a small favor to ask. You see, I’ve got this problem that’s been bothering me for a while and I was kind of hoping you could give me a hand with it. Basically, it would really, really help me out right now if you could just give up your…

At Times Like This, We Need To Pull Ourselves Up, Hold Our Loved Ones Close, Block Any Legislation That Would Prevent Suspected Terrorists From Buying Guns, And Say A Prayer For The Victims

Like the rest of the nation, I was horrified by this weekend’s senseless attack on an Orlando nightclub. Such brutality is unconscionable, but as Americans we need to remain strong in the face of violence and intimidation, and resist giving in to despair. At times like this, we must pull ourselves up, hold our loved…