Moments Leading Up To Romney's Concession Most Likely Hilarious

BOSTON—Sources are confirming that the moments leading up to Mitt Romney’s concession speech last night—from the expression on his face the second he realized he was going to lose, to the brief sigh he probably let out before walking onstage—were all more than likely pretty hilarious. “I’m not trying to be mean or…

Romney Throws Quinceañera For Ann In Last-Minute Attempt To Get Hispanic Vote

SANFORD, FL—With election day looming, Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney tried one last time Monday to cut into Barack Obama’s large lead among Latino voters by putting on an elaborate quinceañera celebration for his wife, Ann. “Today, Ann became a woman,” said Romney, who mentioned that he helped Ann…

Romney Pledges To Replace All Foreign Policy With Jobs Right Here In America

BOCA RATON, FL—During tonight’s presidential debate on international issues, Republican candidate Mitt Romney vowed to halt all of the Obama administration’s foreign policy measures and replace them with new jobs for American workers. “You see, we have all these diplomatic relationships with countries in Europe and…