Nation Descends Into Utter Moral Chaos Following 'Dear Abby' Writer's Death

MINNEAPOLIS—Following the death of 94-year-old “Dear Abby” columnist Pauline Phillips, the nation reportedly plunged into complete and utter moral chaos today, with thousands of queries on everything from table manners to tricky ethical dilemmas piling up unanswered on the late writer’s desk. “I never realized how…

When You Think McDonough's Auto Repair, You Think Craftsmanship, Murder, And Pride

For more than 75 years, McDonough's Auto Repair has been part of a proud tradition—a tradition of quality, reliability, affordable service for the hard-working folks of Montchester, murder, and, most importantly, pride in a hard day's work. We know there's no substitute for doing it right the first time. We know we're…

Film About Little Guy Battling Huge, Morally Bankrupt Organization Made By Huge, Morally Bankrupt Organization

LOS ANGELES—A new motion picture about a resilient underdog who somehow finds the courage to take on a giant, faceless corporation was released Friday by 20th Century Fox, a giant, faceless corporation. "We are just so proud of this wonderful film that shows anything is possible with a little persistence," said Fox…