Jun 15News in Brief6/15/20News in Brief6/15/20ExxonMobil Simplifies Oil Extraction By Cutting Earth In Half
Apr 22News In Photos4/22/20News In Photos4/22/20Oil Paintings Plunge Into Negative Pricing As Market Overrun With Surplus Of Still Lifes
Apr 21News In Photos4/21/20News In Photos4/21/20Theoretical Commodities Trader Explodes Into Flash Of Pure Energy While Attempting To Buy Negative-Priced Oil
Apr 20News in Brief4/20/20News in Brief4/20/20BP Celebrates 10th Anniversary Of Deepwater Horizon By Dyeing Gulf Of Mexico Black
May 2 2019News In Photos5/2/19News In Photos5/2/19Radicalized Patagonia Releases New Fleece Made Of 100% Recycled Oil Company CEOs
Jul 22 2016News in Brief7/22/16News in Brief7/22/16ExxonMobil Vows Lenient Treatment For Any Species That Surrenders Voluntarily
Apr 13 2016News4/13/16News4/13/16ExxonMobil CEO Relieved It Finally Too Late To Do Anything About Climate Change
May 21 2015News In Photos5/21/15News In Photos5/21/15Industrious Otters Now Capitalizing On Oil Spills
May 21 2015News in Brief5/21/15News in Brief5/21/15Pipeline Company Rushes To Contain Oil Spill To Small Section Of Media
May 13 2015News in Brief5/13/15News in Brief5/13/15Shell Assures Nation Most Arctic Wildlife To Go Extinct Well Before Next Spill
Feb 17 2015News in Brief2/17/15News in Brief2/17/15Lucrative New Oil Extraction Method Involves Drilling Directly Into Gas Stations
Feb 11 2015News in Brief2/11/15News in Brief2/11/15Scientists Working To Harness Energy Produced By Intense Fracking Debates
Nov 20 2014News in Brief11/20/14News in Brief11/20/14Desperate GOP Spotted In South Dakota Trying To Build Keystone Pipeline Themselves
Jul 28 2014News in Brief7/28/14News in Brief7/28/14ExxonMobil, Chevron Locked In Bidding War To Acquire Lucrative Pennsylvania Senator
Mar 3 2014News in Brief3/3/14News in Brief3/3/14Report: Good Thing World Has Unlimited Quantity Of Oil
Jan 23 2014News in Brief1/23/14News in Brief1/23/14Study Finds Marine Life Now Global Leader In Oil Imports
