Jun 15News in Brief6/15/20News in Brief6/15/20ExxonMobil Simplifies Oil Extraction By Cutting Earth In HalfIRVING, TX—Emphasizing that the new process would revolutionize the fossil fuel industry forever, ExxonMobil…
Apr 22News In Photos4/22/20News In Photos4/22/20Oil Paintings Plunge Into Negative Pricing As Market Overrun With Surplus Of Still Lifes
Apr 21News In Photos4/21/20News In Photos4/21/20Theoretical Commodities Trader Explodes Into Flash Of Pure Energy While Attempting To Buy Negative-Priced Oil
Apr 20News in Brief4/20/20News in Brief4/20/20BP Celebrates 10th Anniversary Of Deepwater Horizon By Dyeing Gulf Of Mexico BlackPORT FOURCHON, LA—On the very spot off the Louisiana coast where the Deepwater Horizon drilling rig exploded and…
May 2 2019News In Photos5/2/19News In Photos5/2/19Radicalized Patagonia Releases New Fleece Made Of 100% Recycled Oil Company CEOs
Jul 22 2016News in Brief7/22/16News in Brief7/22/16ExxonMobil Vows Lenient Treatment For Any Species That Surrenders VoluntarilyIRVING, TX—Addressing the world’s plant and animal life directly during a press event Friday, officials from…
Apr 13 2016News4/13/16News4/13/16ExxonMobil CEO Relieved It Finally Too Late To Do Anything About Climate Change‘We Really Dodged A Bullet There,’ Says Executive
May 21 2015News In Photos5/21/15News In Photos5/21/15Industrious Otters Now Capitalizing On Oil Spills
May 21 2015News in Brief5/21/15News in Brief5/21/15Pipeline Company Rushes To Contain Oil Spill To Small Section Of MediaGOLETA, CA—In an effort to minimize the impact of the disaster occurring along the California coastline, Plains All…
May 13 2015News in Brief5/13/15News in Brief5/13/15Shell Assures Nation Most Arctic Wildlife To Go Extinct Well Before Next SpillHOUSTON—Stating that any damage would be limited to just a handful of species that somehow managed to survive that…
Feb 17 2015News in Brief2/17/15News in Brief2/17/15Lucrative New Oil Extraction Method Involves Drilling Directly Into Gas StationsIRVING, TX—Hailing it as a rapidly replenishable and easily accessible fuel source, ExxonMobil revealed a lucrative…
Feb 11 2015News in Brief2/11/15News in Brief2/11/15Scientists Working To Harness Energy Produced By Intense Fracking DebatesAUSTIN, TX—Hailing it as a promising potential fuel source with vast untapped reserves, researchers at the…
Jan 29 2015Infographic1/29/15Infographic1/29/15The Pros And Cons Of FrackingGas prices are plummeting across America thanks in part to the country doubling its daily oil exports, which is made…
Jan 15 2015Infographic1/15/15Infographic1/15/15Why Are Gas Prices So Low?The average price of a gallon of gas is at its lowest level since April 2009, giving rise to speculation about why…
Nov 20 2014News in Brief11/20/14News in Brief11/20/14Desperate GOP Spotted In South Dakota Trying To Build Keystone Pipeline ThemselvesRAPID CITY, SD—Excavating hundreds of miles of trench following the defeat of a Senate bill that would have approved…
Jul 28 2014News in Brief7/28/14News in Brief7/28/14ExxonMobil, Chevron Locked In Bidding War To Acquire Lucrative Pennsylvania SenatorHARRISBURG, PA—With both sides increasing their initial offers for the prized asset, multinational energy companies…
Mar 3 2014News in Brief3/3/14News in Brief3/3/14Report: Good Thing World Has Unlimited Quantity Of OilWASHINGTON—According to a report published Monday by the Department of Energy, given current consumption habits and…
Jan 23 2014News in Brief1/23/14News in Brief1/23/14Study Finds Marine Life Now Global Leader In Oil ImportsWASHINGTON—According to a study published Wednesday by the U.S. Department of Energy, marine life has surpassed the…