Jan 14The Topical1/14/21The Topical1/14/21Shocked Authorities Discover Dozens Of Bodies Being Kept In Hospital MorgueHear why detectives believe it could be the work of a serial killer.
Jan 13The Topical1/13/21The Topical1/13/21Majority Of Young Children Go Missing The Moment Parent Turns Attention Toward Themself For One Goddamn SecondHear why 9 out of every 10 children go missing as soon as a mother or father chooses to focus on something that…
Jan 12The Topical1/12/21The Topical1/12/21Report: Leading Cause Of Death Still Venturing Beyond The PinesNearly 2.3 million Americans die each year from wandering into the ethereal black pine forest. Hear how you can heed…
Jan 11The Topical1/11/21The Topical1/11/21Government Lobbyists Call For Members Of Congress To Play A Little Harder To GetHear why lobbyists across many industries are growing concerned with just how easy it’s becoming to undermine the…
Jan 8The Topical1/8/21The Topical1/8/21Hundreds Killed In Brutal Pro-Something-Anti-Something ClashHear how public demonstration and counter-demonstrations have been sparked by renewed vows from pro-something…
Jan 7The Topical1/7/21The Topical1/7/21New Food Safety Law Requires Restaurant Workers To Take Full Bubble Bath After Using RestroomHear why health officials are recommending that anyone who works with food take a good 30 to 45 minutes to soak…
Jan 6The Topical1/6/21The Topical1/6/21Northwestern Hospital Apologizes After Accidentally Switching Couple’s Baby With Random Man In Emergency RoomHear the unbelievable story of a couple who thought they were leaving the hospital with their newborn baby, only to…
Jan 5The Topical1/5/21The Topical1/5/21Serial Killer Clearly Gunning For ‘Parking Lot Butcher’ NicknameHear why police believe this psychopath may be trying a little too hard to claim the moniker.
Jan 4The Topical1/4/21The Topical1/4/21Congress Swoons Over Newly Elected Bad Boy Who Believes Amendments Were Made To Be BrokenHear why members across the legislative branch are going gaga over the newest congressman representing the wrong…
Dec 24The Topical12/24/20The Topical12/24/20Santa Claus: ‘Ho, Ho, Ho! I Saw You Masturbating!’On this special Christmas Eve episode of The Topical, Leslie is joined from the North Pole by Jolly Old Saint…
Dec 23The Topical12/23/20The Topical12/23/20Astronomers Say December 24th Will Be Best Chance To See Santa Until 2021Get your telescope ready for the celestial event that only happens once every 10 months. We have the latest on how…
Dec 22The Topical12/22/20The Topical12/22/20Report Finds Majority Of Business Leaders Visited By 3 Spirits Make No Changes To LifestyleHear why many CEOs believe ’tis might not be the season for becoming a better person.
Dec 21The Topical12/21/20The Topical12/21/20Pope Maintains Divine Buzz By Microdosing Eucharist Throughout DayHear how this new productivity trend is helping Pope Francis get through his grueling advent schedule, and why it…
Dec 18The Topical12/18/20The Topical12/18/20Hottest Toys For the Holiday Season That Your Daughter’s New Stepfather Will Probably Get Her To Make You Look BadPlus, what to get for your one cousin this year who’s obsessed with militias.
Dec 17The Topical12/17/20The Topical12/17/20Health Officials Warn Holiday Travel Could Cause Spike In Millions Of Americans Falling For Old Hometown FlameHear why going back to a romanticized version of your past could put you at increased risk of having your heart…
Dec 16The Topical12/16/20The Topical12/16/20CDC Announces Children Will Be Last To Receive Covid Vaccine Because What Are Those Little Twerps Going To Do About ItHear why your place in line for a vaccine will definitely be before any of those little peabrains because what’s the…
Dec 15The Topical12/15/20The Topical12/15/20Nation’s Moms Demand Christmas ListHear what mothers around the country are threatening to do if they do not receive a full and complete list this…
Dec 14The Topical12/14/20The Topical12/14/20Nation Worried After Catholic Church Issues Really Vague ApologyAmid unclear pleas of “Forgive us” and “God have mercy,” hear why experts have been left to speculate on what…
Dec 11The Topical12/11/20The Topical12/11/20All The News That 83-Year-Old Tabitha Williams Wants To Hear, As She’s The Only Listener Who Pledged More Than $25 To The Topical’s Patreon This MonthSorry, but if you wanted to hear news relevant to your interests, or just the national landscape in general, then…
Dec 10The Topical12/10/20The Topical12/10/20Rising Coronavirus Cases Force Chicago To Set Up Temporary Bars In HospitalsHear why Chicago officials are hopeful they’ll be able to effectively serve all citizens a frothy craft IPA in a…