Dog Feels Like He Always Has To Be ‘On’ Around Family
MORRISTOWN, NJ—Complaining that he is never able to relax and just be himself, local dog Crackers reported Thursday…
Woman Adopts Second Cat For First One To Terrorize While She At Work
BLUE BELL, PA—Saying it would be nice for her cat Joplin to have some company during the day, realtor Christie Marie…
Dog Can’t Believe Owner Left On Fucking MSNBC To Keep It Company While She At Work
OKLAHOMA CITY—Expressing outrage at the obnoxious programming he’d be forced to sit through for the next several hours,…
Inexperienced Puppy Bowl Team Still Hasn’t Opened Eyes Yet
NEW YORK—Noting that their youth would likely be a major factor in determining the outcome of Puppy Bowl XV, analysts…
Pros And Cons Of Pet Insurance
Insurance for pets has been on the rise in recent years, and is now an over $1 billion industry representing millions…
New Smithsonian Exhibit Honors Thousands Of Pets Who Joined Workforce After Owners Left To Fight In World War II
WASHINGTON—Celebrating and commemorating the myriad contributions of previously overlooked heroes, the Smithsonian…
Dog Who Successfully Detected Cancer In Owner Put Down For Practicing Medicine Without A License
PHOENIX—In what authorities hope serves as a warning to any domesticated animal who places medical patients at risk,…
Study Finds Dogs Twitching In Sleep Are Dreaming About Tearing Owners Limb From Limb
ITHACA, NY—A study released Monday by animal behaviorists at Cornell University found that dogs that twitch, move their…
Dog Meets Owner At Door In Desperate Attempt To Get Ahead Of Diarrhea-Rug Scandal
KENNEWICK, WA—Deftly maneuvering to control the emotional tone and establish the primacy of her own narrative before…
Pet Gerbil Has Been Absolutely Crushing It Lately
HAGERSTOWN, MD—Acknowledging the rodent’s hot streak over the past few weeks, local man Jackson Ramos confirmed…
ASPCA Report Warns That Many Americans Are Not Giving Their Dogs Correct Name
NEW YORK—Urging animal owners to pay closer attention to the day-to-day psychological welfare of their pets, the ASPCA…