OpinionOpinionTom Brady Fans React To His RetirementAfter 23 years in the NFL, including a brief 40-day retirement followed by a final season with the Buccaneers, Tom…
SportsFootballNFLSportsFootballNFLGreatest NFL Playoff MomentsJoe Montana’s six-yard pass to Dwight Clark is worth watching on YouTube today, so that modern fans can marvel at…
SportsNews In BriefSportsNews In BriefStar High School Quarterback Blissfully Unaware He’ll Be Jets Starter 4 Years From NowBEND, OR—As he excitedly slapped a teammate on the back after delivering a pinpoint 30-yard throw in practice,…
SportsSportsNew ESPN Peyton Manning Segment Breaks Down Current Crop Of Quarterback CommercialsBRISTOL, CT—Utilizing his expertise as one of the ad game’s all-time great pitchmen, ESPN debuted a new Monday Night…
Breaking NewsNews In BriefBreaking NewsNews In BriefPeyton Manning’s Wife Quietly Asks How Much Longer Papa John Going To Crash On Their CouchINDIANAPOLIS—Frustrated by the heaps of soiled red polo shirts accumulating in her living room, Peyton Manning’s…
SportsSportsA Look Back At The Career Of Peyton Manning: The Greatest Of All Time, Depending On Who You Ask, At Least Based On Passing Numbers
SportsSportsIndianapolis Sports Reporter Pours His Little Heart Out In Peyton Manning Retirement ColumnINDIANAPOLIS—Praising the veteran quarterback as “a man who changed the game of football forever,” Indianapolis Star…
SportsSportsPeyton Manning Fondly Recalls When Not Winning Super Bowl Was Most Damaging Part Of LegacyDENVER—Amid recent accusations of HGH use and resurfacing sexual assault allegations from his time in college,…
SportsSportsPeyton Manning Tirelessly Studying Footage Of Athletes Denying AllegationsDENVER—Praising the 39-year-old’s exhaustive preparations amid accusations involving performance-enhancing drug use…
SportsSportsFamily, Friends Concerned After Peyton Manning Wanders Away From PocketSANTA CLARA, CA—Admitting to being “worried sick” after realizing he had suddenly disappeared in the middle of a…
SportsSportsNervous Peyton Manning Feeling Better After Vomiting Blood Before GameSANTA CLARA, CA—Having suffered from intense pregame nerves just 30 minutes before the kickoff of Super Bowl 50,…
SportsSportsBroncos Quietly Bury Peyton Manning In Unmarked Grave Next To StadiumDENVER—Standing solemnly next to the patch of ground where the veteran quarterback’s body lay, members of the Denver…
SportsSportsAging Peyton Manning Now Forced To Take Field With Assistance DogDENVER—Noting that he is no longer capable of safely maneuvering across the field on his own, the Denver Broncos…
SportsSportsReport: Peyton Manning Lacks Strength To Complete Longer Commercial TakesDENVER—Noting that physical limitations were hindering the 39-year-old’s performance, league sources confirmed…
SportsSportsJohn Elway Casually Mentions To Peyton Manning How Great It Was Going Out On Top In ’98DENVER—Saying that it was the absolute perfect way to end his Hall of Fame career, Denver Broncos general manager…
SportsSportsReport: Peyton Manning Played Entire Season With 38-Year-Old BodyDENVER—After a lackluster performance in his team’s playoff loss to the Indianapolis Colts, reports emerged…
SportsSportsPeyton Manning Cleared To Play Next Season After Passing Verbal Neck ExamDENVER—Erasing any lingering doubts that he will continue his record-breaking career, the Denver Broncos confirmed…
SportsSportsPeyton ManningStrengths: Tuning out all the distracting noise from his in-helmet headset; Puts ball exactly where receiver can’t…