Pope Francis Spotted Sunbathing Nude In St. Peter’s Square
VATICAN CITY—After setting down a small tote bag and unfolding a plastic lawn chair next to the Vatican Obelisk, Pope…
Pope Francis Sneaks Leftovers To False God Moloch At Back Door Of St. Peter’s Basilica
VATICAN CITY—Quickly scanning the alley to make sure no one would see him with the scraps he had placed on a spare…
Pope Francis Carves Roast Cherub For Vatican Christmas Dinner
VATICAN CITY—After pulling a probe thermometer from its thigh and tasting a piece of crispy golden-brown skin, Pope…
Pope Francis Wears Miter With Faceshield To Comply With New Vatican Safety Measures
VATICAN CITY—Receiving protection against chemical, environmental, and immoral hazards in the workplace, Pope Francis…
Pope Francis Crushes Small Demon Crawling Across Papal Apartment Floor
VATICAN CITY—Saying the wicked little creature had probably crept out of some crack that led to Hell, Pope Francis…
Pope Francis Warns Catholics This Not Good Time To Bother God
VATICAN CITY—Saying it was probably a good idea to give Him some space for the next little while, Pope Francis warned…
Pope Francis Beats Confession Out Of Uncooperative Catholic
VATICAN CITY—Grasping the back of the man’s collar with one hand while pummeling his face with the other, Pope Francis…
Swiss Guard Charge Writhing Mass Of Black Tentacles Devouring Pope Francis
VATICAN CITY—Racing frantically through St. Peter’s Square toward the sound of the Supreme Pontiff’s agonized cries,…
Pope Francis Worried About Job Security After Butting Heads With New God
VATICAN CITY—Expressing his frustration with ongoing tensions at work, Pope Francis admitted Tuesday that he had…
Pope Francis Trains For Easter Mass By Dragging Pew Loaded With Rocks Across Snow
AOSTA, ITALY—Pushing himself to the physical brink in the bitter cold wilderness high in the Alps, Pope Francis…
Vatican City Residents Rally To Save St. Peter’s Basilica From Development
VATICAN CITY—Citing its historical significance and the valuable role it plays in the community, residents of Vatican…
Vatican Tour Group Catches Glimpse Of Pale, Emaciated Joseph Ratzinger Scuttling Into Dark Catacombs
VATICAN CITY—Following a guided tour of the excavated ruins beneath St. Peter’s Basilica on Tuesday, several stunned…
Pope Francis Clarifies That God Just One Of Many Immortal Beings Who Speak To Him Every Day
VATICAN CITY—Explaining how he rarely goes more than an hour or two without hearing from one of them or another, Pope…
Horrified Pope Calls Philadelphia Humanity’s Greatest Sin Against God
PHILADELPHIA—Visibly aghast as he took the pulpit at the Cathedral Basilica of Saints Peter and Paul in Philadelphia to…