Mar 9News in Brief3/9/20News in Brief3/9/20Pope Francis Urges Priests To Refrain From Molesting Children Over Coronavirus Fears
Feb 17News in Brief2/17/20News in Brief2/17/20Pope Francis Attempts To Compromise On Rule-Change Proposals By Allowing Priests To Marry Him
Nov 14News11/14/19News11/14/19Pope Francis Bags 6-Winged Trophy Angel During Vatican’s Annual Seraphim Hunt
Oct 25News in Brief10/25/19News in Brief10/25/19Pope Francis Teaches Parishioners Dangers Of Sinning By Showing Them Cross Section Of Black, Desiccated Soul
Sep 23News in Brief9/23/19News in Brief9/23/19Vatican Forced To Revoke Dozens Of Sainthoods After Discovering Miracles Performed With Eldritch Magic
Sep 19News in Brief9/19/19News in Brief9/19/19Pope Francis Tells Sinner Risky Experimental Sacrament Only Thing Capable Of Saving Him
Feb 27 2019News In Photos2/27/19News In Photos2/27/19Pope Francis Working Out At Vatican Gym Wearing ‘Sex Abuse Summit 2019’ T-Shirt
Feb 26 2019News in Brief2/26/19News in Brief2/26/19Catholic Church Brings In New Perspective On Solving Abuse Scandal With Appointment Of Toddler Bishop
Feb 21 2019News in Brief2/21/19News in Brief2/21/19Pope Francis Offers Molested Kids 10% Off At Vatican City Gift Shop
Feb 21 2019News In Photos2/21/19News In Photos2/21/19Pope Breaks Ice At Clergy Abuse Summit By Having Everyone Go Around And Say How Many Kids They Molested
Feb 20 2019News in Brief2/20/19News in Brief2/20/19Pope Spends Afternoon Filling In Glory Holes All Over St. Peter’s Basilica
Feb 6 2019News In Photos2/6/19News In Photos2/6/19Pope Francis: ‘Jesus—I Get Molesting Kids, But Nuns Too?’
Dec 19 2018News in Brief12/19/18News in Brief12/19/18Ecstatic Pope Francis Finally Lands Role As Mary In St. Peter’s Christmas Pageant
Oct 31 2018News10/31/18News10/31/18‘Take This Grape For It Is The Witch’s Eye, Take This Spaghetti For It Is The Witch’s Brain,’ Says Pope Francis During Halloween-Themed Communion
Oct 8 2018News in Brief10/8/18News in Brief10/8/18Pope Francis Renounces Papacy After Falling In Love With Beautiful American Divorcee
Sep 13 2018News in Brief9/13/18News in Brief9/13/18Pope Francis On Vatican Abuse Scandal: ‘Just Tell Me Whose Feet To Wash’
Sep 12 2018News In Photos9/12/18News In Photos9/12/18Pope Starting To Suspect Bishops Getting Huge Erections During Meeting On Child Sexual Abuse Might Be Pedophiles
Aug 28 2018News In Photos8/28/18News In Photos8/28/18Pope Promises More Open, Transparent Molestation In Future
Aug 17 2018News in Brief8/17/18News in Brief8/17/18Vatican On Sex Abuse Report: ‘Listen, No Normal Person Is Going To Sign Up To Be A Priest’
