Man Wondering If There Might Be Some Sort Of Website Featuring Footage Of Sexual Acts One May View For Purposes Of Self-Gratification

DAVENPORT, IA—Musing philosophically on the deeply pleasurable possibilities, local man and potential electronic voyeur Tanner Mitchell, 27, wondered Tuesday whether there existed some form of website featuring footage of live sexual acts that interested parties might view for the purposes of self-gratification. “It…

Nation Shudders To Think How Bad Things Would Seem If They Didn’t Have Access To A Never-Ending Torrent Of Free Pornography

WASHINGTON—Discouraged and demoralized almost to the breaking point by news of political corruption at the highest levels, images of migrant children still being kept in cages, time-lapse videos of disappearing polar ice caps, and a constant barrage of other relentlessly harrowing information, sources across the…

Time Flies When You’re Feeding An Addiction To Internet Pornography Over Which You No Longer Have Any Control

I try to stay on top of things, but I can’t tell you how surprised I was this week when I looked at a calendar for the first time in I don’t know how long and I saw that we’re almost all the way through August. August! Can you believe it? I mean, here I was thinking that summer had just started, and it turns out we’re…

New Porno Worth Checking Out Even For People Who Aren’t Familiar With 5 Guys Jerking Off On Single Pair Of Tits

LOS ANGELES—Adult film fans have praised the newly released Batter Splatter 9, calling the 43-minute pornographic DVD accessible even to people who aren't previously acquainted with five guys jerking off on a single set of tits. "There's something in this movie for everyone, whether you already know something about…

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